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"Okay" I stand up to give ood-bye

She wraps her arhtly, and I wonder if she can sh "If you need anything--anything at all, call us" She shakes her head "God, I feel guilty for even leaving at all"

"I’ on o have fun on your trip"

She presses her lips together and stares at lasses, and I wonder what she sees Does she knohat I’ve been doing? Can she tell how lost I a? That I’hter thriving inside, or is the Nova she gave birth to, raised, tried to shape into a good person with values, gone?

She sighs, hitching her thumb under the strap of her purse and heads for the stairs "I love you, Nova"

"Love you too" I sit back down on the swing again, feeling guilty about all ering high inside my head They load up the car and back out of the driveway, and she watchesaway only as they reach the corner Then everything gets quiet; even the neighborhood has decided to bask in the silence I rock in the swing for a while, and even though my eyes aren’t focused on his house, my mind still is

I take my phone out of my pocket, flick the screen to turn on the video, and aim it at Landon’s old house "He doesn’t live there any, but I kind of feel tied to it Maybe it’s because I spent so le my foot out from beneathafter he died, his parents moved out, and now the porch is littered with bicycles and toys, and in the backyard on the hill where I once lay beside hiet a shot of the backyard and the hill that dips down to the fence line "It’s like he doesn’t even exist anymore… like he never did… but he still does to me, inside my heart In fact, he still owns it"

The door creaks open, and ly inside s lifelessly from a rope… His skin is so pale, like snow, and his eyes are still open, like he’s still there, holding them open…

I slap et the hell out of lasses fly off my head, and the pain erupts upand my eyes start to water My skin is tender; I clutchbefore I act It hurts Badly But so does the memory

I wait until my heart settles and my adrenaline balances out I take a deep breath and another, then sit up straight and rotate the caht red handprint onto leave a bruise "Sometimes I wonder how unhealthy my attachment is to him I mean, is it normal to feel like this after over a year has passed? But who’s to say what’s nor, really, because it always sees and we don’t make sense to each other At least that’s how it is forup as Delilah’s truck pulls into the driveway

I’ out to the concert She parks the truck and hops out, waving at me, and I notice that there are two other people in the truck The passenger door swings open and Quinton jumps out, followed by Dylan

"Hey, Nova Dova," she singsongs, energetically skipping around the front of the truck She’s changed her outfit fro into a pair of maroon corduroy shorts and a white tank top Her auburn hair touches her shoulders, and she has an array of colorful bracelets on her wrists "Are youone of your videos?" Her jaw drops as she nears ht while I was gone?"

I drop the phone to my lap and click off the recorder "No," I lie "I fell out of the swing and hit my face on the floor"

"Are you okay?" She trots up the steps

I nod "Yeah, I’ to each other in hushed voices at the botto annoyed Dylan’s got a hood pulled over his head, which doesn’thot Quinton has on a black-shirt on and a pair of faded jeans His jawline is scruffy and there’s a tiny bit of black smeared on the upper section of his cheekbone

"What are you doing here?" I ask as she stops in front of the swing "I thought you were taking off for the concert"

"We are but we ca her arms