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His face moved intoposition of having an arm around both him and his mother as we all cried our hearts out

It had been at Leticia’s insistence that it was an open casket cereht It was just too hard to look at hi the body of a twenty-one year old man in his prime, pale and still in death

Tristan and I went to see hi my hand so hard that it ached, but I didn’t say a word

I held my breath as I looked at Jared’s still fors when I couldn’t hold it for another moment

I didn’t knohat to say There were no words for this His stillness, the peace on his face, it brought both comfort and despair

Still, I triedTristan some bit of comfort with my own perspective "I don’t have a badto say about hiically that no one on this earth is perfect, but to me, he was There is bad in all of us, but I’ll only ever reedhis face in my hair "Thank you for that It helps, to know someone else saw him how I did, that there are more of us to remember him like that"

"Always," I whispered in his ear "I will always be here to remember him like that with you"

The day of the funeral see endless condolences to mother and son It was so obvious tobut a strain on them both that it was hard to stomach

I barely left Tristan’s side, because that here he needed th from me, and I was desperate to be what he needed, in the face of his pain

His mother held a reception at her hoht food, and drinks, and no one seemed to want to leave, so it went on into the late hours of the night

Tristan drank too much, stayed eerily quiet, and keptearly

We shared his childhood roo each other close on the twin sized bed There were other places to sleep, more comfortable places, but I didn’t even consider it This here he wanted to be, and I would be there with him

"I love you," I murmured into his ear before he drifted off

"I love you So much You’re my rock, Danika," he said quietly

Finally, for the first tiazed at hi hi his heart beat under my palm, I could admit it to myself I would love this man to the end of my days I’d fallen too deep Middle of the Pacific deep, with no land in sight There was no going back My heart was his forever