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He is in there sorip falter? I twist and kick back, h his fingers, I dive at the gun and ertips close around the cool un at him

"Tobias," I say "I know you’re in there somewhere"

But if he was, he probably wouldn’t start toward me like he’s about to kill me for certain this tiing I am pathetic Tears make my face hot "Please See erous, fast, powerful The gun shakes in my hands "Please see me, Tobias, please!"

Even when he scowls, his eyes look thoughtful, and I remember how his mouth curled when he smiled

I can’t kill him I am not sure if I love him; not sure if that’s why But I am sure of what he would do if our positions were reversed I a him for

I have done this before--inat me to fire at the people I love I volunteered to die instead, that tiine how that would helpto do is

My father says--used to say--that there is power in self-sacrifice

I turn the gun in my hands and press it into Tobias’s palm

He pushes the barrel into my forehead My tears have stopped and the air feels cold as it touches my cheeks I reach out and rest my hand on his chest so I can feel his heartbeat At least his heartbeat is still him

The bullet clicks into the chamber Maybe it will be as easy to let him shoot me as it was in the fear landscape, as it is in hts will lift, and I will find myself in another world I stand still and wait

Can I be forgiven for all I’ve done to get here?

I don’t know I don’t know

Please

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

THE SHOT DOESN’T come He stares at me with the same ferocity but doesn’t ainst ht this simulation Any simulation

"Tobias," I say "It’s me"

I step forward and wrap my arms around hiainst un hits the floor He grabsinto my skin where the bullet was I cry out as he pulls me back Maybe he means to kill ain His mouth collides withat my back His face and the back of his neck are slick with sweat, his body is shaking, and my shoulder blazes with pain, but I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care

He setsoverlike a sob and a sigh and a ht with tears I never thought I would see Tobias cry It makes me hurt

I pullin my head comes back, and the ache in ainst him, and he supports me

"How did you do it?" I say

"I don’t know," he says "I just heard your voice"

After a few seconds, I remember why I’m here I pull back and wipe my cheeks with the heels of ain I see one that overlooks the drinking fountain Tobias was so paranoid when I was railing against Dauntless there He kept looking at the wall above the fountain Now I knohy

Tobias and I stand there for a while, and I think I knohat he’s thinking, because I’ so s the si it soit," I say "It’s already complete I have no idea how, but Jeanine made it so it could work on its own"

He shakes his head "It’s…incredible Terrible, evil…but incredible"

I see movement on one of the screens and seeon the first floor of the building Surrounding the weapons

"Tobias," I say tersely "Now!"

He runs to the coer I can’t look at what he’s doing All I can see is ht out from his body, like he’s ready to use it I bite my lip Don’t shoot Tobias presses the screen a fewin letters that ht--a spark, froasp My brother and Marcus and Peter crouch on the ground with their arms over their heads After a moment they all stir, so I know they’re still alive, and the Dauntless soldiers advance A cluster of black around ain, and everyone on the first floor goes still

Their arms drop to their sides

And then the Dauntless move Their heads turn frouns, and their , and they shove each other, and so their heads and rocking back and forth, back and forth

All the tension in h

Tobias crouches next to the coet the data," he says, "or they’ll just start the siain"

I watch the frenzy on the screen It is the sa on the streets I scan the screens, one by one, looking for one that shows the Abnegation sector of the city There is only one--it’s at the far end of the roo at one another, shoving one another, screaround People sprint in every direction

"Got it," says Tobias, holding up the computer’s hard drive It is a piece of metal about the size of his palm He offers it to me, and I shove it into ht

"Yes, we do" He wraps his arether down the hallway and around the corner The elevator re for his body

It is on the floor next to the elevator, surrounded by the bodies of several guards A strangled scream escapes ainst the wall

For a second I feel like everything inside h my mouth so I don’t smell the blood I clamp my hand over my mouth to contain a sob Five et up One, two Three, four

Five

I as There is an elevator and a glass roo crowd of Dauntless soldiers dressed in black I search for Caleb’s face, but it is nowhere, nowhere until we leave the glass building and step out into sunlight

Caleb runs to ainst hihtly

"Dad?" he says