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They are here to take me, like Peter and Drew and Al; to kill me I know it

Si in lass behind me and slide it to the left It is not a mirror but a closet door I tell ainst the right wall, just inches away from my hand I don’t shift ertips and wrap my hand around the handle

I bite my lip and fire at the scarred man I don’t wait to see if the bullet hits him--I aim at each featurelessit so hard The pounding on thestops, but a screeching sound replaces it, and the fists turn into hands with bent fingers, scratching at the glass, fighting to get in The glass creaks under the pressure of their hands, and then cracks, and then shatters

I screaun

Pale bodies--hules, too-wide mouths with needle teeth, empty eye sockets--topple into my bedroom, one after the other, and scramble to their feet, scramble toward me I pull back into the closet and shut the door in front of me A solution I need a solution I sink into a crouch and press the side of the gun to ht theisterheartbeat and my even breath and it will move on to the next obstacle

I sit down on the floor of the closet The wall behindthe closet door--but I turn and peer through the dark at the panel behind me It is not a wall but another door I fu, I crawl through the hole and stand I s a deep breath, I watch ot, for a second, that I was in Dauntless headquarters

And then Tobias is standing in front of me

But I’m not afraid of Tobias I look overbehind me that I’m supposed to focus on But no--behind me is just a four-poster bed

A bed?

Tobias walks towardon?

I stare up at him, paralyzed He smiles down at me That smile looks kind Familiar

He presses his ht it would be i; he ers find my jacket zipper and pull it down in one sloipe until the zipper detaches He tugs the jacket froain Oh

My fear is being with him I have been wary of affection all my life, but I didn’t kno deep that wariness went

But this obstacle doesn’t feel the same as the others It is a different kind of fear--nervous panic rather than blind terror

He slides his hands downover the skin just above ently push him back and press my hands to rotesque faces; I have been set on fire by the boy who ale; I have almost drowned--twice--and this is what I can’t cope with? This is the fear I have no solutions for--a boy I like, ants to…have sex with me?

Simulation Tobias kisses my neck

I try to think I have to face the fear I have to take control of the situation and find a way to

I look Si to sleep with you in a hallucination Okay?"

Then I grab hiainst the bedpost I feel so other than fear--a prickle in ainst hi around his arh into ets hot I er clicks in ot about this one I feel the heft of a gun in er over the trigger A spotlight shines fro in the center of its circle of light are my mother, my father, and my brother

"Do it," hisses a voice next to me It is felass It sounds like Jeanine

The barrel of a gun presses to ainstthe hair on the back of my neck stand on end I wipe h the corner of lasses are askew, and her eyes are e

My worst fear: that my family will die, and that I will be responsible

"Do it," she says again, more insistent this time "Do it or I’ll kill you"

I stare at Caleb He nods, his eyebrows tugged in, sympathetic "Go ahead, Tris," he says softly "I understand It’s okay"

My eyes burn "No," I say, ive you ten seconds!" the woman shouts "Ten! Nine!"

My eyes skip froave me a look of contempt, but now his eyes are wide and soft I have never seen him wear that expression in real life

"Tris," he says "You have no other option"

"Eight!"

"Tris," my mother says She smiles She has a sweet s up the gun I can do it I can shoot the me to They wouldn’t want me to sacrifice myself for them They aren’t even real This is all a si My brother’s kind eyes feel like two drills boring a hole in un slippery

"Five!"

I have no other option I closeonly: the threat to my life

"Four! Three!"

What did Tobias tell me? Selflessness and bravery aren’t that different

"Two!"

I release the trigger of un and drop it Before I can lose un behind

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

THE LIGHTS COME on I stand alone in the e I sink tomy arms around my chest It wasn’t cold when I walked in, but it feels cold now I rub oose bumps

I have never felt relief like this before Every ain I can’t ih my fear landscape in my spare time, like Tobias does It seemed like bravery to me before, but now it seems more like masochism