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Odd - or perhaps stupid - that she was still capable of hurting herself unbearably with thoughts of that kind after fourteen years

Crile was 18 ht for men was a bit under 17 ave hith that persisted well after the ti it to herself, that she could not rely on his strength

He had a craggy face, too; a pro chin - a look, so about hi masculinity She could almost smell it when she na was still a graduate student in astrono forward to returning to Rotor so that she could qualify for work on the Far Probe She dreamed of the wide advances the Far Probe would make possible (and never drea one)

And then she met Crile and found herself, to her own confusion, ht she felt herself abandoning the Far Probe in herready to remain on Earth just to be with him

She could still remember the way he had looked at her in astonishment and said, &039;Remain here with me? I&039;d rather coined that he would want to abandon his world for her How Crile na did not know and had never found out

The iration rules were strict, after all Once any Settleration - first, because it could not exceed a certain definite limit on the number of people it could support comfortably, and, second, because it ical balance stable People who came on important business froo tedious decontaree of isolation, and an enforced departure as soon as possible

Yet here was Crile fro that had been part of the decontamination, and she was secretly pleased at the way he had persisted Clearly, he must have wanted her very badly to submit to it

Yet there were times when he seemed withdrawn and inattentive and she would wonder then what had really driven him to Rotor over such obstacles Perhaps it was not she, but the need to escape Earth that had been theforce Had he corown tired of? She had never dared ask

And he had never offered information Even after he had been allowed to enter Rotor, there was a question as to how long he ration would have to grant a special permit to make him a full citizen of Rotor and that was not ordinarily likely

Insigna had found all the things that made Crile Fisher unacceptable to Rotorians additional induce Earth-born lent hilamour True Rotorians would be bound to despise him as an alien - citizen or not - but she found even that a source of erotic exciteainst a hostile world

When he tried to find some sort of work that would enable him to earn money and occupy a niche in the new society, it was she who pointed out to hienerations - that would be a powerful inducerant hih it hadn&039;t occurred to hina had found it a little disappointing It would beto be married for the sake of love than for the sake of citizenship, but then she thought to herself: Well, if that&039;s what it takes-

So, after a typical long Rotorian engagee He was not a passionate lover, but he had not been that before the e either He had offered her an absent affection, an occasional warether immersed in it He was never actively cruel and unkind, and he had given up his world for her and gone through considerable inconvenience to be with her Surely that na counted it so

Even as a full citizen, which he had been granted after their e, there rena are of this and could not entirely blaht be a full citizen, yet he was still not a native-born Rotorian andactivities on Rotor were closed to hi had been, for he never mentioned how much of an education he had had He didn&039;t sound uneducated, and there was no disgrace in being self-educated, but Insigna knew that on Earth the population did not take higher education as a given, the way that Settleht bothered her She didn&039;tdown her friends and colleagues where that was concerned She didn&039;t know, though, if she could quite handle his being an uneducated Earthested he was, and he listened to the tales of her work on the Far Probe with patience She never tested his education by discussing the technical details, of course Yet sometimes he asked questions or s and she valued theed to convince herself that they were intelligent questions and comments

Fisher had a job on one of the farms, a perfectly respectable job, even an essential one, but a job that was not high on the social scale He did not coive him that - but he never talked about it, or showed any pleasure in it And there was always that air of discontent about hina learned, therefore, to attempt no cheery &039;And what happened to you at work today, Crile?&039;

The few times she had asked, just at first, the answer had been a flat &039;Nothing much&039; And that would be all, except for a short annoyed look

Eventually, she grew nervous about talking to hi errors That, too, ht serve as an unwelcona had to adainst the evidence there, an example of her own insecurity rather than his Fisher didn&039;t show signs of impatience when she did find herself forced to discuss the day&039;s work Sometimes he even asked, with a pallid interest, about hyper-assistance, but Insigna knew little or nothing about that

He was interested in Rotorian politics and showed an Earthman&039;s iht with herself not to show displeasure at that

Eventually, there fell a silence between the the filee of life

It didn&039;t lead to active unhappiness Cake had quickly changed to white bread, but there orse things than white bread

It even had a s to no-one about one&039;s work, but how ed to whisper partial confidences to wife or husband? Insigna had not done so, for she had little in the way of temptation, since her oork required little in the way of security

But when her discovery of the Neighbor Star was suddenly placed under tight wraps, without warning, could she haveto do - to tell her husband of the great discovery that was bound to put her na as huht have told hi in: &039;Guess what! Guess what! You&039;ll never guess-&039;

But she hadn&039;t It didn&039;t occur to her that Fisher would be interested He ht talk to others about their work, even to farmers or sheet-metal workers, but not to her

So it was no effort toto him of Nemesis The matter was dead between them, was not missed, did not exist, until that dreadful day when their e came to an end

8

When did she move over wholeheartedly to Pitt&039;s side?

At the start, Insigna had been horrified at the thought of keeping the Neighbor Star a secret, profoundly uneasy at the prospect ofaway out of the Solar Syste but the location She found it ethically wrong and indecently dishonorable to set about building a new civilization by stealth, one which excluded all the rest of hurounds of Settleht Pitt privately, to bring up points of argument She had rehearsed them in her own mind till they were foolproof and irrefutable and then, somehow, she never presented them

Always - always - he took the initiative

Pitt said to her, early on, &039;Now reenia, you discovered the coues may do so as well&039;

&039;It&039;s not likely-&039; she began

&039;No, Eugenia, we&039;re not going to depend on unlikelihood We&039;re going toto see to it that no-one looks in that direction, that no-one wants to study the particular coive away the location of Nemesis&039;

&039;How can I possibly do that?&039;

&039;Very easily I have spoken to the Coe of the Far Probe research&039;

&039;But that would mean I&039;ve been moved over the head-&039;

&039;Yes It means an advance in responsibility, in pay, in social stature To which of these do you object?&039;

&039;I don&039;t object to any of this,&039; said Insigna, her heart beginning to pound

&039;I&039;m sure you can fulfill the job of Chief Astronomer more than adequately, but your chief aihest quality and significance, provided that what is done has nothing to do with Nemesis&039;

&039;But, Janus, you can&039;t keep it completely secret for ever&039;

&039;I don&039;t intend to Once we move out of the Solar Syste Till then, as few as possible will know, and those feill learn as late as possible&039;

Her prona noted with a little shame, cooled her objections

On another occasion, Pitt said to her, &039;What about your husband?&039;

&039;What about na was immediately on the defensive

&039;He is an Earthether &039;He is of Earth origin, but he is a Rotorian citizen&039;

&039;I understand I assu of Ne&039;

&039;Has this husband of yours ever told you why he left Earth and worked so hard to become a Rotorian citizen?&039;

&039;No, he hasn&039;t And I haven&039;t asked hina hesitated and then told the truth &039;Yes, I have, sometimes&039;

Pitt smiled &039;I should tell you, perhaps&039;

And he did, little by little Never in any overly obtrusiveof water at every conversation It brought her out of her intellectual shell To live on Rotor, after all, s Rotorian

But thanks to Pitt, to what he told her, to the filested she view, she became aware of Earth and its billions, of its endean to understand it as an abys to flee froer why Crile Fisher had left She wondered why so few Earthmen followed his example

Nor were the Settlements so much better off She became aware of how they closed in on the freely from one to another No Settlement wanted the microscopic flora and fauna of any other Trade dwindled slowly, and was increasingly carried on by automated vessels with carefully sterilized loads

The Settlements quarreled and found each other hateful The circum-Martian Settlements were almost as bad Only in the asteroid zone were the Settle suspicious of all the inner Settleree with Pitt, even to grow enthusiastic over a flight fro of a syste had been eradicated A new start, a new chance

And then she found that a baby was on the way and her enthusias journey seemed hile To risk an infant, a child-

Pitt was unperturbed He congratulated her &039;It will be born here and you will have a little time to accustom yourself to the situation It will be at least a year and a half before we&039;re ready to go And by then you will realize how fortunate you will be not to have to wait any longer The child will have no memory of the misery of a ruined planet and a desperately divided humanity It will know only a neorld with a cultural understanding a its hter are already grown, already an to think in that fashion, and by the tiun to dread delay, to fear that before they left, the child would be imprinted with the crowded failure that was the Solar System

She was entirely on Pitt&039;s side by this tireat relief She had not thought that he would make much of a father Yet he hovered over Marlene and took on his share of the duties involved in bringing her up He see the tirew throughout the Solar System that Rotor intended to leave It produced as almost a system-wide crisis, and Pitt, as now clearly in line for Corimly amused

&039;Well, what can they do?&039; he said &039;There&039;s no way they can stop us, and all the outcries of disloyalty, together with their own display of Solar Systeations into hyper-assistance, which will serve us well&039;

Insigna said, &039;But how did it get out, I wonder, Janus?&039;

&039;I saw to it that it did&039; He ser object to their learning the fact of our leaving, as long as they don&039;t know our destination It would, after all, be ier We must take a vote on the , all the rest of the system will know, in any case&039;

&039;A vote?&039;

&039;Why, of course Think it through We can&039;t take off with a Settlement-load of people who are too fearful or too homesick for their own Sun We&039;d never er&039;

He was co the Solar Systean almost at once and the fact that the news had already leaked out served as a cushion to ease the reaction outside Rotor - and within it as well

Some Rotorians were excited at the prospect; some were afraid

Fisher reacted with thunderous brow, and one day he said, &039;This is crazy&039;

&039;It&039;s inevitable,&039; said Insigna with careful neutrality

&039;Why? There&039;s no reason to start wandering a out there&039;

&039;There are billions of stars out there&039;

&039;How many planets? We don&039;t know of any habitable planets anywhere, and very few of any other kind Our Solar System is the only home we know&039;

&039;Exploration is in the blood of humanity&039; It was one of Pitt&039;s phrases

&039;That&039;s rooing to vote to separate thena said, &039;My understanding, Crile, is that sentiment on Rotor is rather in favor of it&039;