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That was the day the twins beca set onin that nasal way she’s adopted in her third trier of the tray hopefully, but it’s just the nervous new attendant fro The disappointment on my faceto leave

"Thank you," I say, but even that sounds heartbroken

"Look in the napkin," he says, and then he’s gone

I sit up slowly so as not to disturb Cecily She hs

I unroll the cloth napkin that encompasses the silverware, and a blue June Bean falls into my hand

I don’t see Gabriel the next day, or the next

Outside, the snow begins to stick to the ground, and I keep Cecily coo out and o out in the snow either It would be too easy for the children to get sick in the cold, and the staff members weren’t equipped to deal with an epideh, before she fades into one of her naps I can’t wait for this pregnancy to be over My fear over what’s to come when the baby is born is surpassed byto her now She’s always out of breath, or crying, and her finger is swollen around her wedding band

While she sleeps, I sit on herledge, flipping through the atlas Gabriel brought me I find out that while my name is a European river, Rowan is a type of srew in the Himalayas and Asia I’ at all But the last thing I need is another puzzle to try and solve, and after a while I just watch the snow falling outside

The view from Cecily’sis nice It’s mostly trees, and I think it could be just the normal woods out in the real world It could be anywhere at all

But then, of course, I see the black lih the snow and I’ate around a shrub and then drive straight into the trees

Straight into the trees! There’s no ih they weren’t even there

And then it dawns on me Those trees aren’t really there That’s why I couldn’t find rove The true path is hidden by soram, like the houses at the expo Of course It’s so siures that I’d learn this nohen Vaughn has made it nearly impossible for me to be outside unaccoure out a plan to get outside so I can inspect the tree hologram, but all paths in my mind lead back to Gabriel If I found a way out, I couldn’t leave without hiainst the idea in the first place If he’s in trouble because of ?

I just need to know that he’s okay I can’t even think about leaving until I know that much

Dinner comes, and I don’t eat I sit at a table in the library withthe June Bean over and over Jenna tries to distractfacts she’s read in the library books, and I know it’s for my benefit, because nor myself to pay attention She coaxes , but it’s like paste inasleep Deirdre draws a bath for reen on the water The soapy water feels like a deep-tissue e and smells like heaven, but I can’t relax She braids , and she tells eles, and how they’ll make lovely tiered summer skirts And it only makes me feel worse to think I’ll still be here next summer to wear them And the less responsive I am, the more desperate her tone seems to become

She can’t understand the cause of my unhappiness Me

The paiveShe’show I a to make my day better But it occurs to me that she never talks about herself

"Deirdre?" I say as she’s replenishing the soaps and adding more hot water to the bath "You said your father was a painter What did he paint?"

She pauses with her hand on the faucet, and she smiles in a sad, wistful way "Portraits, mostly," she says

"Do you reat sorrow for her, but she’s got a strength and tranquility that re to break down and cry

"Every day," she says Then she presses her hands together in a cross between a clap and a gesture of prayer