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So that’s what they’re telling everyone

She smiles, wipes a tear from her cheek "But you’re okay It was a mistake I should have known better than to listen to my mother; she has one foot in a fantasy novel at all tio to the hospital to get looked at? Like when Carmilla Tilmaker sed a dead bramble fly in kinder year"

What really happened?

Now it’s my turn to be somber I am too exhausted to cry Is that nornitude of such a word, let alone expend any emotion over it? "I was ill, but I’m okay now Lex and Alice are fine"

She plays with a lock of o on

"Pen?" I stare at her knees and mine "What if there were a way off this city, and I told you I was going to take it? Would you file to have me declared irrational?"

She doesn’t answer There’s no way she could already know about the s, but she knows

"I can’t stay here," I say "I wasn’t even supposed to coain" I can’t iround, the history book says, the hus; and the scopes show us that theyto thes that float in the air around our heads

Pen and I raise our heads and look at each other "Con that Judas is still nearby, but though I know he’s watchingme not to say another word about it

And he needn’t worry I won’t tell But it isn’t to protect the metal bird or the rebellion It’s because of what she said that night on the train platforround She said that she didn’t want to knoas beyond Interns to exist I can’t believe that I won’t believe that

This is her home I can’t take it away from her Instead, all I can do is stare at her--this lovely, lovely girl who ht have been nobility in another tiain after this h memories of her to carry for every day of the rest of my life But no matter how vivid thosein the starlight, and the feel of the blade pressed to , I realize She’ll have soto an end

"I have to leave now," I say

She says, "Where are you going?"

"To ," I say I know it isn’t possible, but I just want to kno it feels to say the words out loud They feel perfect My blood swirls and swirls with delicious war to creep into the clock tower," I say, "and cli’s apart and cut open his throat I think that’s how I’ll do it I’d like that"

Pen would laugh at the absurdity on a norrips s h to protect s like that right now It’s treason What if so," I say "Nobody ever listens to us We’re allthat e do is i will do aith anyone he’d like"

There’s a bright an with veins and arteries A non-beating heart If there’s a god at all, he’s dead in his sky

Pen holds my face in her hands Her thumb brushes at my cheek over and over "This isn’t like you at all," she says "What’s happened?"

I’ve said ugly things, but she doesn’t flinch

"You asked what really happened," I say "My parents are dead"

I stare at her collarbone that’s framed with lace, the hollow of her throat, her shoulders that rise with the weight of her next breath We’re fragile things Our bones show through our skin What would any god ith us?

Some sound escapes her lips, but I can’t comprehend it All I know for sure is that I have to leave I can’t face her like this "I’ve said too much," I say, and take a step away I’le For the first tiet away froot, and her shoes dig into the earth, her legs don’t even runt for her efforts

All the fight goes out of o only when she’s sure I won’t run

"They’re dead," I say, and sink into the dirt She kneels beside me