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I don’t say very much Basil worries Lex has Alice check the dilation of my pupils and he pays close attention to my temperature, asks me to describe any stomach cramps or dizziness I tell hi to say to that He was never very good with e to think he’s the only family I have left

There are probably patrolh our drawers and looking for signs of treason to justify the et to my bedroom they’ll find an open textbook at the desk, and the wooden ift They’ll find blue bedsheets and a closet full of uniforms and a feather headband draped over the irl who followed the rules

That girl is gone now

There’s no daylight here There are no clouds I hear a ru that I think is the train up above us I lie with my face in the mattress, and Basil rubs circles on s and he stoops down to kiss the back of my neck Despite this hollowness inside me, the feel of his lips raises bumps in my skin

I hear the door open, and Alice calls my name

When I don’t answer, Basil says, "I think she’s fallen asleep"

Alice doesn’t believe it When I was younger, there were nights when one long into the starlit hours, only to return with giggles and whispers, shushing each other as they slaone, Alice would look in onto sleep, and she would tickle my feet

She doesn’t touch me now She only says, "We’ll sort this out, love" She doesn’t say my name, but I know the words are for me "You aren’t alone"

The door closes

"She’s been crying," Basil says, lying down beside me

After a few seconds, I raise my face from the mattress to look at hiet the words out in tiue

"Okay," he says, and wipes at a streak of my tears with his thuain?" I say

"Not if you don’t want to I’ll just read your expressions Everywhere we go, I’ll speak so you don’t have to"

I know he isn’t being serious, but it’s a nice thought Hi until our dodder days are over and we’re dispatched

Only I don’t knoe’ll be allowed in dodder housing I don’t knohat’s going to happen or where I’ll go if Internerous for ht?" he says

I shake h and unfamiliar, so I wrap my arm around Basil The boy I’m supposed to spend forever with He still feels and smells like home

"What about your parents and brother?" I say

"They’ll be safer if I don’t try to find the to do with any politics I can’t iet"

He doesn’t sound very sure about that Their son is betrothed to a girl the king tried to kill, after all

"You must want to see them," I say

"I can’t," he says, and his voice falters, and I know he’s trying to be strong for my sake "You heard what they said It would put everyone at risk--them, you, me, everyone on this bird My family will understand They know thatto have to leave ho the cobbles the day we picked hiht and I can’t bring him back

"But not like this," I say "You shouldn’t have to leave ho finds you," he says "It waswould happen to you, and I won’t chance it again If you’re leaving Intern you to stay with your fae that we’re round in this flying bird somehow, and there are no rules like that? What would keep us together then?"

"The saether now," he says

It’s quiet after that, and I’ he said to me before the medicine pulled me under

I love you

Is this what love ether?