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Juliette’s the only real exception to that rule

I look back at her and notice the red ri hall She looks both wide awake and crazy tired and she can’t see fast under the table and her hands are tre a little

"Hey are you okay?" I ask

"Yes, absolutely," she says too quickly But she’s shaking her head

"Did you, u the word a few times She does that occasionally--repeats the saain I’m not sure she’s even aware of it

"Did you sleep well?" she asks Her fingers dru around the room She doesn’t even wait forabout Kenji yet?"

That’s when I understand

Of course she’s not okay Of course she didn’t get any sleep last night Last night she almost killed one of her closest friends She’d just started trusting herself and not being afraid of herself; now she’s back to where she started Shit I’ht it up

"No, not yet" I cringe "But," I say, hoping to change the subject, "I have heard that people are pretty pissed at Castle about what happened with Warner" I clearout of here?"

Juliette drops her spoon

It clatters to the floor and she doesn’t see at her water cup, holding her napkin in her hands, folding and refolding it "People were talking about it in the halls Do they kno he escaped?"

"I don’t think so" I frown at her

"Oh" She says that a few tie Scared, even Juliette has always been a little different from everyone else--she was like a crazed, skittish kitten when I first saw her in that cell--but she’d been getting a lot better over the last few ed She evolved She started talking (and eating)her co her find herself

I think this experience with Kenji really set her back

I can tell she’s only halfway here, because her eyes are unfocused and her hands aremechanically She does this a lot It’s like sometimes she just disappears, retreats into a corner of her brain and stays there awhile, thinking about so a lot like her old self right now, and right now she’s eating the cold rice on her plate one grain at a ti each bite under her breath

I’ain when Jarateful for the opportunity to shake off the aard "Hey buddy--why don’t we go have a proper good-bye?"

"Oh," Jalances at rain of rice very carefully

"Hi," he says to her

Juliette blinks a few ti into a wide ses her, those smiles And those are the moments that kill me a little

"Hi," she says, so happy so suddenly you’d think Ja the moon for her "How are you? Did you sleep well? Would you like to sit down? I was just having some rice; would you like so He’d probably eat his own hair if she asked hi Juliette we’ll be right back

She nods I look over my shoulder as alk away and notice that she doesn’t see alone for a little while She stabs at so on her plate and misses, and that’s the last I see of her before we turn the corner

THREE

"What’s going on? Why do we need to talk?" More questions fro okay? Can you tell Juliette not to eat li at the table "So hold of his shoulders "Look at , Addie?" He searchesto die, are you?"

"I don’t know," I tell him "Maybe,his gaze "Don’t say that It’s not nice to talk like that"

"Jaain, slowly this tiat the floor, and I know he is, too I can hear our hearts racing in the silence

"I love you," I finally say to hi I do is to take care of you To protect you To provide for you"

James nods

"It’s you first," I say to him "It’s always you first and everyone else second And that’s never going to change Okay?"

Jaain A tear falls on the floor between us "Okay, Addie"

"Co to be okay"

Jati up way too fast in this shitty world, and though I know I can’t protect hi, I still try He’s been the only constant inas I can re happened to him

I’ll never love anyone the way I love this kid