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He didn’t answer It was hard to tell if that was a shrug, or if he was adjusting his grip

They passed another landing Nelson and Sophia had taped the doors off, but faces watched frolass Juliette spotted an elderly wolass As she turned, the woht of Father Wendel and the idea that she was bringing fear, not hope, to the silo Hope hat he and the church offered, some place to exist after death Fear ca the world for the better could possibly make it worse

She waited until they were beneath the landing "Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us after we’re gone?"

"I knohat happens to us," he said "We get slathered in butter and chewed off the cob"

He laughed at his own joke

"I’m serious Do you think our souls join the clouds and find sohter stopped "No," he said after a long pause "I think we si"

They descended a turn and passed another landing, another door taped off and sealed as a precaution Juliette realized their voices were drifting up and down a quiet and empty stairwell

"It doesn’t bother me that I won’t be around one day," Lukas said after a while "I don’t stress about the fact that I wasn’t here a hundred years ago I think death will be a lot like that A hundred years froo"

Again, he adjusted his grip or shrugged It was impossible to say

"I’ll tell you what does last forever" He turned his head tocorny like "love" or so unfunny like "your casseroles"

"What lasts forever?" she obliged, sure to regret it but sensing that he aiting for her to ask

"Our decisions," he said

"Can we stop a moment?" Juliette asked There was a burn where the strap rubbed across her neck She set her end down on a step, and Lukas held his half to keep the trunk level She checked the knot and stepped around to switch shoulders "I’m sorry – ‘our decisions’?" She had lost him

Lukas turned to face her "Yeah Our actions, you know? They last forever Whatever we do, it’ll always be e did There’s no taking the There was sadness in his voice as he said these things, that box resting against his knee, and Juliette wasresonated, but she wasn’t sure what it was "Tell me more," she said She looped the strap around her other shoulder and readied to lift it again Lukas held the rail with one hand and seeer

"Ito you" She laughed

"Well, it does The Legacy and the man from Silo 1 confirm it"

Juliette scoffed as if neither could be trusted Lukas ignored her and continued

"Thatwe do is left in … like a trail out there, a big ring of decisions Every action we take--"

"And mistake"

He nodded and dabbed at his forehead with his sleeve "And everywe do as well They are ile touch we leave behind Even if nobody sees them or remembers them, that doesn’t matter That trail will always be what happened, e did, every choice The past lives on forever There’s no changing it"

"Makes you not want to fuck up," Juliette said, thinking on all the ti if this box between thereat loop of space: fighting with her father, losing a lover, going out to clean, a great spiral of hurts like a journey down the stairs with a bleeding foot

And the stains would never wash out That’s what Lukas was saying She would always have hurt her father Was that the way to phrase it? Always have had It was iotten friends killed Always have had a brother die and a mother take her own life Always have had taken that daies weren’t welds; they were just an ad had been broken Often between two people

"You okay?" Lukas asked "Ready to go on?"

But she kneas asking more than if her arm was tired He had this ability to spot her secret worries He had a keen vision that allowed hih heavy clouds

"I’m fine," she lied And she searched her past for some noble deed, for a bloodless tread, for any touch on the world that had left it a brighter place But when she had been sent to clean, she had refused Always have had refused She had turned her back and walked off, and there was no chance of going back and doing it any other way

••••

Nelson aiting for them in the Suit Lab He was already prepped and in his second suit, but with his helmet off The suit Juliette wore outside and the two used to scrub her down had been left in the airlock Only the radios installed in the collars had been saved They were as precious as people, Juliette had joked Nelson and Sophia had already installed them in this pair of suits; Lukas would have a third radio in the hall

The trunk went on the floor by a cleared workbench; Juliette and Lukas both shook sensation and blood back into their arot the door?" she asked Lukas