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Three Months before I Die

I stare at the basket of hypodermic needles So slender and pretty, each filled with a yellow liquid that reold paint

"Inoculations, " I say I consult the floppy that contains my instructions for today’s labor

Across the top of the screen is a chart and the words GENETIC MODIFICATION

That’snot right These needles are filled with inoculations

Eldest told ht me the basket himself

" Selene," he had told me, his voice warm and kind, "these are inoculations for the rabbits Inject one full dose per rabbit today "

My eyes burn with pain as I scan the text on the floppy There’s nothing about inoculations here

Sharp pain shoots through my head

Eldest told me these were inoculations

"Inoculations, " I say, a soft sit in the knowledge of what it truly is

It doesn’t matter what the chart and words on the floppy say It onlyis only what Eldest says it is

The rabbit field is quiet, but not silent That is what I like about it

I like sounds

Soft thuround as the rabbits hop around The little chirruping noises they rass

I sit down in the grass field

For a moment, I look up at the sky Made of metal and painted with clouds that never move

My sky is a certainty That’s nice

So aboard a spaceship hurtling through the stars toward a new planet But those thoughts are too big, and so I don’t think them often

I blink and see darkness

I open ht Blue

Blink Dark Dark I don’t open my eyes Dark

Bloodbruisespainbetrayalalonealonealonealonealone

I open my eyes

I do not like the dark

I stand There is work to do

The rabbits are fat and lazy But they do not like it when I try to grab them Perhaps they know that sometimes when I snatch them up, I send them to the butcher and they are made into food But if they do know this, they’re not too concerned about it They scamper away, but only a meter or so Then I sneak I sneak behind the

They think I ae

I tackle the nearest rabbit, pinning it down by its shoulders After scanning its identification chip-- Nue a hypoder

" Number 424, inoculated," I say aloud

I don’t have to say it aloud

But I like sound

This is e Grab Hold Inoculate

Sometireen hills I see soainst the norirl shows up

She is a freak Eldest told eneticallyShe looks like a freak Pale skin, alht, bright hair Red hair With orange and gold in it

Like the koi in the pond by the Hospital

Friendsgonegonegonealonealonealone

" Hello," the girl says

I look at the girl I look at her koi-fish hair "Hello," I say

She is different She reh enetically modified experiment," I say I wait for her to confirh I know it is because Eldest said she is "Eldest has said we don’t have to speak to you "

The girl is mad at me I know because of her voice I like sounds I pay attention not just to which words are said, but how they are said, and this girl says the to me She asks about the rabbits She asks about the needles

She talks a lot