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"Oh," I said I sat back in ret about e did is that I think Jake saw us and I a suicide … I don’t know We need to watch him"

She chewed on her lip for aaway I think she was sort of blushing, even

"But as for this afternoon? I thought it was … awesome"

My heart had some kind of a seizure

"But I … I feel like I forced you Did I force you?" I said

Now she looked shocked

"No!" she exclaimed "Did I force you?"

"No, I mean, I wanted to do e did Very, very much It’s just…"

I didn’t knohat to say

"Dean, can I ask you so breath of air I knehat she was going to ask

"Was it your first time?"

The blush that hit

Astrid reached out and grabbed hed "Everyone has a first tih, but I still felt really embarrassed

"It’s just not everyone who has a first time under the influence of a deadly chemical warfare coonna be hard to top it, frankly"

We both laughed

I scratched my head I think even my scalp was beet red

Then Astrid leaned over and kissed me

It was a soft kiss Her lips parted just a bit as she pressed the pushing against hers She was answering me with her mouth and it was a quiet, sweet yes

And then she pulled back gently

"That should have been our first kiss," she said quietly

I sat for ait all in

"There’s no reason why it can’t be our first kiss," I answered her "This could be, I don’t know, the official start of Us"

"Dean--" she started to protest

"Astrid, you kno I feel about you I’ood for you You said it yourself, I’uy I would never leave you like Jake did--"

"Dean! Listen to eto say it was just the compounds"

"But why?"

"Look, ht now But Jake’s the father of my baby And he’s in really bad shape He needs me You said it yourself, he’s depressed He could be suicidally depressed! He probably needs the proh this disaster"

"That doesn’t make sense"

"It does to me," she said

"It’s not fair!" I protested, probably sounding like a duhed bitterly "What about any of this is fair, Dean?"

Then she squeezed my hand

"I’m sorry"

And she rose to walk away

I sat back in my chair

"That’s it? End of discussion?"

"For now," she said

It see of the hill--the ot to be with Astrid And noas going to get to be with her because he was a pathetic mess

When she liked me

Me

I stood up and headed back toward the berths

No as he going to win this one I didn’t knoould play out, but I wasn’t letting Jake get Astrid without a fight And you knohat, it felt good to have soarden variety survival

I couldn’t get back to sleep so Ibreakfast

A little crush onto feel a heart-spike of happiness in the middle of the Apocalypse?

I carried the food over to the Kitchen, and lit the fire in Astrid’s fire pit

The kids were excited when they saw the fire pit It was so rescued, I’d noticed I’d stopped even thinking about being rescued We all just stayed in the over

He took a big bowl of oat of coffee with creamer

Astrid came, dressed in my blue sweater and a pair of jeans Was it soe to me, the sweater?

Was I supposed to be placated by it?

The kids got their oatmeal

"Cinnamon spice?" Chloe complained "Are we out of peaches and cream flavor?"

"If you can find it, you can make it for yourself," I told her

"Nah, I’ll just eat this" She sighed benevolently

"Yeah, you’re welco," Astrid announced She sat down opposite him at the table

Jake took the fireplace poker and jabbed at the Durafla in the center of the brass fire pit "Save it I already know" He scowled "I saw"

"Sahat?" Caroline asked