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No Unnatural

Another tired exhale escaped o

When I’d first realized--back when I was about seven or so--thatsort of attention from so to get rid of it Cut it Dyed it Shaved it I’d even lifted hydrochloric acid frorade, filled the sink, and then dunked my hair into the solution It burned my hair into oblivion, but a few days later it was back to the sa Just like always

So I hid it the best I could; buns, braids, hats And I wore enough black, had accue years that uys respected my no’s when I said them And if they didn’t, well, I’d learned how to deal with that, too My current foster parents, Bruce and Casey Sanderson, were both bail bondsmen, which meant they put up the bail money so defendants could avoid jail time until their court appearance And if the person didn’t show for their appointht the the bill Thanks to Bruce and Casey, I could operate six different firearms, drop a two-hundred-pound asshole to the floor in three seconds, and cuff a perp with one hand tied behind my back

And they called it "family time"

My hazy reflection smiled back at h to let a seventeen-year-old borrow their car and go in search of her past Casey had been a foster kid too, so she understood my need to know She knew I had to do this alone I wished I’d gotten placed with theh my nose Yeah, and if wishes were dollars, I’d be Bill Gates

Stea Classic Ari MO If I didn’t take a shower, I wouldn’t get out, put on et it over with, you big wuss" I stripped off the last of ertips rinkled and the air was so saturated with steam it was hard to breathe, I dried off and dressed in my favorite pair of old plaid boxers and a thin cotton tank Once my wet hair isted back into a knot and a pair of fuzzy socks pulled on ed in the -size bed

The box just sat there In front of me

My eyes squinted Goose buhs My blood pressure rose--I knew it by the waysuch a baby!

It was just a dumb box Justthe box closer and peering inside to find a few letters and a couple of sh in there to contain an entire life story No doubt I’d have more questions from this than answers--that’s usually how rabbed the plain white envelope on top of the pile, flipping it over to see my name scrawled in blue ink

Aristanae

My breath left me in an astonished rush Holy hell My mother had written to me

It took acursive letters with shaky fingers and then opened the envelope and unfolded the single sheet of notebook paper

My dearest, beautiful Ari,

If you are reading this now, then I know you have found me I had hoped and prayed that you wouldn’t I a you, and that sounds so inadequate, I know, but there was no other way Soon you will understand why, and I’iven this box by those at Rocquemore, you must run Stay away from New Orleans, and away from those who can identify you Hoish I could save you My heart aches, knowing you will face what I have faced I love you so

I’irl, just RUN

Momma

Spooked, I juh it burned "What the hell?"

Fear made my heart pound like thunder and the fine hairs on h electrified I went to theand peeked through the blinds to look one floor down atunusual I rubbedain, with the sirl

Baby girl Baby girl

I had only a handful of fuzzy memories left, but those wordsI could al A smile in her voice It was a real memory, I realized, not one of the thousand I’d made up over the years An ache squeezed an behind my left eye