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TWO

NEVERLAND

18

With a second bottle of Mountain Dew in hand, Bobby sat on the cellist’s stool, but he didn’t pick up the bow

In addition to all the instru room contained a music system with a CD player and an antiquated audiotape deck In fact, there were two decks, which allowed Sasha to duplicate tapes of her own recordings I powered up the equipment, which added as ht that seeped in at the edges of the blinds

So a tune, Sasha is convinced that she has unwittingly plagiarized another songwriter To satisfy herself that her work is original, she spends hours listening to cuts from which she suspects she has borrowed, until finally she’s willing to believe that her creation has, after all, sprung solely fro about which Sasha exhibits , her literary opinions, her loves she does so wonderfully are marked by a wholesouessing In her relationship to her music, however, she is sometimes a lost child; when she’s stricken by this vulnerability, I want more than ever to put h this is when she’sand to rapruler, or another handy music-room weapon

I suppose every relationship can be enriched by a small measure of neurotic behavior I certainly contribute a half cup of my own to our recipe

Now I slipped the tape into the player It was the cassette I’d found in the envelope beside Leland Delacroix’s reeking corpse in the bungalow kitchen in Dead Town

I turned the chair away fro down, used the remote control to switch on the cassette player

For half a netic tape passing over the playback head A soft click and a new hollow quality to the hiss , which at first consisted only of so deep, rhythed in some for for revelation, not respiration"

The sound was utterly mundane, with not the least inflection of fear or menace, or any other emotion Yet the fine hairs stirred on the nape offrorip on hirip on himself"

Asuddenly grew ragged, then desperate Delacroix broke down and began to weep, tried to get a grip on hireat treh I’d never known thisto hi Fortunately, it didn’t last long, because he switched off the recorder

With another soft click, the recording began again, and though Delacroix’s self-control was tenuous, he ed to speak His voice was so thick with emotion that soer of breaking down completely, he paused either to take deep breaths or to drink so A testa to the world I don’t knohere to begin Begin with the worst They’re dead, and I killed them But it was the only way to save them The only way to save them You have to understand…I killed them because I loved them God help me I couldn’t let them suffer, be used Be used God, I couldn’t let the else I could do…"

I reed beside Delacroix’s corpse The elfin, gap-toothed little girl The boy in the blue suit and red bow tie The pretty blonde with the appealing smile I suspected that these were the people who, to be saved, were killed

"We all developed these syoing to go to the doctor tomorrow, but we didn’t make it that far Mild fever Chills And every once in a while this…fluttering…this odd fluttering in the chest…or sometimes the stomach, in the abdo the spine…this fluttering likenerve orlike that God, no, nothing I can explain…not severe…subtle…a subtle fluttering but so…disturbing…nausea…couldn’t eatTook a shatever he was drinking

"Truth Got to tell the truth Wouldn’t have gone to the doctor tomorrow Would’ve had to call Project Control Let them know it isn’t over Even more than two years later, it isn’t over I knew I knew so the sa we’d felt before Jesus, I kneas too scared to face it, but I knew I didn’t knohat, but I knew so back to etLizzie to bed, tucking her in bed…and suddenly Lizzie started…she was…she started screaed the glass down as though it was empty

"I was in the kitchen, and I heardI ran…ran in there, into the bedroo…flailing with her little fists Maureen couldn’t control her I thought…convulsions…afraid she was biting her tongue I held her…held her down While I got herto use it…a pad to keep Lizzie fro in herco alive in her throat And…and then…then she had her eyes tight shut…but then…but she opened the was alive in her eye, too, so, Delacroix switched off the recorder God kno long the poor et control of hithy blank section of tape, just another soft click as Delacroix hit the record button and continued:

"I run to our bedroo Freddie’s roo by his bed Freddie…eyes wide…afraid So I tell hiet in bed and wait for ainst the wall, hands pressed to her te…her face…her face all swollen…twisted…the whole bone structure…not even Lizzie anymore… There’s no hope now This was that dah, like Lizzie was a doorway Coh Oh, Jesus, I hate myself I hate myself I was part of it, I opened the door, opened the door between here and that place, helped make it possible I opened the door And now here is Lizzie…so I have to…so I…I shot…shot her…shot her twice And she’s dead, and so still on the bed, so s is alive in her, alive in her though she isn’t anymore And Maureen, she has…she has both hands to her head…and she says, ‘The fluttering,’ and I know she means it’s inside her head now, because I feel it, too, a fluttering alongin sympathy hatever was in Lizzie, is in Lizzie And Maureen says…the …she says, ‘I love you,’ because she knohat’s happening, I’ve told her about the other side, the mission, and now she knows so dormant for more than two years, but I’m infected, and now them, too, I’ve ruined us all, damned us all, and she knows She knohat I…what I’ve done to them…and nohat I have to do…so she says, ‘I love you,’ which is giving me permission, and I tell her I love her, too, so , and then I shoot her once…once, quick, o back down the hall…I go to Freddie’s roo, hair soaked with sweat, and holding his belly with both hands I know he feels the fluttering…fluttering in his tummy…because I feel it now in my chest and in my left biceps, like in a vein, and of all places in ain I tell him I love him, and I tell him to close his eyes…close his…close his eyes…so I can make him feel better…and then I don’t think I can do it, but I do it My son My boy Brave boy I make hi in me stops, just stops completely But I know it’s not over I’…a heaviness inNot for long I’ve reloaded the revolver"

Delacroix switched off the recorder, pausing to get a grip on his emotions

With the remote control, I stopped the tape The late Leland Delacroix wasn’t the only one who needed to coot up from the cellist’s stool and went into the kitchen

After ahis unfinished bottle of Mountain Dew into the sink, flushing it aith cold water

"Don’t turn it off," I said

While Bobby threw the eerator, I went to the sink I cupped my hands under the faucet, and for at least a minute, I splashed cold water on my face

After I dried my face on a couple of paper towels, Bobby handed a bottle of beer to me He had one, too

I wanted to have a clear head e returned to Wyvern But after what I’d heard on the tape, and considering what else remained to be heard, I could probably have downed a six-pack without effect