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She felt the sa ful, to crack the rule of fate, to wrench the very fabric of the universe into a shape other than what God see in that Iowa field with the wind blowing the stink of death to her, watching the rescue worker walk aith the little boy who had almost died, Holly felt closer to Ji

She went looking for him

The scene around the broken DC-10 had become more chaotic than it had been immediately after the crash Fire trucks had driven onto the plowed field Streams of rich white foae in whipped-crea fuel-soaked earth Smoke still churned out of the midsection, plu to the whims of the wind, a black canopy spread over the shadows as it filtered the afternoon sunshine, raising in her rilass were either black or gray Rescue workers and para for survivors, and their numbers were so unequal to the awesoers pitched in to help Other passengers-some so untouched by the experience that they appeared freshly showered and dressed, others filthy and disheveled stood alone or in s for the minibuses that would take the nervously or stunned into silence The only things threading the crash scene together and providing it with so on shortwave radios and walkie-talkies

Though Holly was searching for Ji woer was in her early twenties, slender, auburn-haired, with a porcelain face; and though uninjured she badly needed help She was standing back fro a naain: "Kenny! Kenny! Kenny!" She had shouted it so often that her voice was hoarse

Holly put a hand on the woer’s eyes were the precise blue of wisteria-and glazed

"Have you seen Kenny?" "Who is he, dear?" "My husband"

"What does he look like?" Dazed, she said, "We were on our honeymoon"

"I’ll help you look for him"

"No"

"Coht"

"I don’t want to look for hi Holly to turn her away from the plane and lead her toward the ambulances "I don’t want to see him Not the way he’ll be All dead All broken up and burned and dead"

They walked together through the soft, tilled earth, where a new crop would be planted in late winter and sprout up green and tender in the spring, by which tins of death would have been eradicated and nature’s illusion of life-everlasting restored

Soe was taking place in her She didn’t understand what it was yet, didn’t knohat it would mean or how different a person she would be when it was complete, but she are of profound movement in the bedrock of her heart, her mind

Because her inner world was in such tury to cope with the outer world, so she placidly followed the standard post-crash prograers

She was iical, and practical support provided to survivors of Flight 246 Dubuque’s medical and civil defense coency -responded swiftly and effectively In addition psychologists, counselors, ministers, priests, and a rabbi were available to the uninjured passengers within e-with any tables and comfortable chairs upholstered in nubby blue fabric -had been set aside for their use, ten or twelve telephone lines sequestered from normal airport operations, and nurses provided to ns of delayed shock

United’s e with local over night accoe the uninjured with friends or relatives who had been transported to various hospitals, and co word of loved ones’ deaths Their horror and grief seeers, and they were shaken and re could happen with one of their planes Holly saw a young woman in a United jacket turn suddenly and leave the room in tears, and all the others, men and wo to console them, put an arm around them and tell them that even the best-built and best-maintained machines were dooe was inity, and co circumstances that Holly was dismayed by the full-scale arrival of the nity, at least, would be an early victi their job, the problee of reporters who could perfore of plue of carpenters who could miter a doorfra, inept, or downright hostile reporters could cause their subjects considerable en the innocent and pere reputations, which was a lot worse than a backed-up drain or

The whole spectrum of TV, radio, and print journalists swarmed into the airport and soon penetrated even those areas where their presence was normally restricted Some were respectful of the survivors’ eered the United eation," or hounded the survivors to reveal their innermost fears and relive the recent horror for the delectation of news consu them off, she was asked the same question half a dozen times by four different reporters within fifteen minutes: "How did you feel?" How did you feel when you heard it ht you were going to die? How did you feel when you saw that soe observationthat looked out on arriving and departing flights, she blew up at an eager and expensively coiffured CNN reporter named Anlock, who simply could not understand that she was unflattered by his attentions "Ask me what I saw, or ask me what I think," she told him "Ask me hat, where, why, and how, but for God’s sake don’t askyou’ve got to kno I feel If you have any eot to know"

Anlock and his cameraman tried to back off, move on to other prey

She are that most of the people in the crowded room had turned to see what the co to let Anlock off that easily She stayed with him: "You don’t want facts, you just want drama, you want blood and thunder, you want people to bare their souls to you, then you edit what they say, change it,most of the time, and that’s a kind of rape, darip of the sae she had experienced at the crash site, and that she was not half as angry at Anlock as she was at God, futile as that et than the Alhty, who could stay hidden in soer had subsided; she was disconcerted to find that saain

She was over the top, out of control, and she didn’t care-until she realized CNN was on the air live A predatory glint in Anlock’s eyes and a twist of irony in his expression alerted her that he was not entirely disood color, first-rate dra it even if he was the object of her abuse

Later, of course, he would nani with the e off as a fearless reporter and a coame when she should have known that only the reporter ever wins, Holly turned fro, "quite understandable, of course, given what the poor woo back and smash him in the face And wouldn’t that please hi with you, Thorne? she demanded of herself You never lose it Not like this You never lose it, but now you’re definitely, absolutely losing it

Trying to ignore the reporters and suppress her sudden interest in s analysis, she went looking for Ji hi from the crash site None of the United eer roster, which did not exactly surprise Holly