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At three o’clock, I locked the office and walked over to the public library, which o blocks over and two blocks up I went downstairs to the periodicals room and asked for the previous Septened toin the first reel The print hite on black, all of the photographs looking like negatives I had no idea what I e Current events, national news, local political issues, fire, cri divorced I read the lost-and-found column, the personals, society, sports Thethe filraphs jerked onto the nine-by-twelve screen with the focus slightly skewed, generating aa newspapers attached to upright wooden lances The only sounds in the roo, an occasional cough, and the rustle of newsprint

I ed to check the papers for the first six days of September before my resolve faltered I’d have to do this in s to ache A glance at my watch showed that it was nearly five and I was bored to death I made a note of the last date I’d scanned and then I fled into the late-afternoon sunshine I walked back tolot without going upstairs

On the way home, I stopped off at the super a quick tour withoverhead, I felt like the heroine in a romantic comedy Once I’d found what I needed, I moved to the express lane, twelve items or less There were five of us in line, all surreptitiously counting the contents of each other’s carts The man in front of me had a head too small for the size of his face, like an under-inflated balloon He had a little girl with hi a brand-new dress several sizes too big So about it spelled "poor," but I don’t knohy It et; waistline at her hips, the hem down around her ankles She held theme a shy s back

I was tired by the tiot home and my left arm ached There are days when I scarcely remember the injury, other days when I feel drained by a constant dull pain I decided to skip my run To hell with it I took a couple of Tylenol with codeine, kicked my shoes oft; and crawled into the folds ofI aith a start, reaching automatically for the receiver My apartment was dark The unexpected shrill blast of sound had sent a jolt of adrenaline through lanced at the clock with uneasiness Eleven-fifteen

I h my hair

"Kinsey, it’s Derek Wenner Have you heard"

"Derek, I’uess he’d been drinking, though we’re not even sure of that at this point His car went off the road and sht you’d want to know"

"What?" I kneas repeatingabout

"Bobby’s been killed in a car accident"

"But when?" I don’t knohy itquestions because I couldn’t cope with the information any other way

"A little after ten He was dead by the tio down and identify him, but there doesn’t see?"

He seemed to hesitate "Well, actually, uess she’s out Dr Metcalfs service is tracking him down, so he’ll probably be here in a bit I wonder if you could sit with Glen in the meantime That way, I can head on over to the hospital and see what’s going on"

"I’ll be right there," I said and hung up

I washedtoAll my inner processes seeled with the facts The infor back No way Nuh-un How could Bobby be gone? Not true

I grabbed a jacket, ot in ine, pulled out I felt like a well-prograency vehicles and I could feel a chill tickle at the base ofbend, a blind corner near the "sluone, but patrol cars were still there, radios squawking in the night air Bystanders stood on the side of the road in the dark while the tree he’d hit ashed with high-intensity floodlights, the raw gash in the trunk looking like a fatal wound in itself His BMW was just being removed by a tow truck The scene looked, oddly, like a location for ato peer at the site with an eerie feeling of detachment I didn’t want to add to the confusion and I orried about Glen, so I drove on A little voice murmured, "Bobby’s dead" A second voice said, "Oh no, lets don’t do that I don’t want that to be true, OK?"