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His expression was pained He touched at the key-board carelessly, a sour chord "It’s gone I don’t have it anys and theabout?"

"Just what I said It was the choice I had to s, babe, but not without music I’m not made that way"

"It sounded fine It was beautiful"

"What do you know, Kinsey? You don’t know any-thing That was all technique Mechanics I got no soul The only ti This is nothing Half-life The other is better… when I’ive it all away You can’t hold back It’s all or nothin’"

I could feel ?" Dulowed and he pinched his thu in air It was the gesture he always used when he was about to roll a joint He looked down at the crook of his elbow and ly

"Don’t do that," I said

"Why not?"

"It’ll kill you"

He shrugged "Why can’t I live the way I want? I’m the devil I’ I wouldn’t do just for the hell of it… just to stay awake Fuck I’d like to fly again, you know? I’d like to feel good I’ll tell you so I don’t kno you put up with it I don’t kno you keep froin’ yourself"

I cruathered paper plates, plastic ware, the empty wine bottle, cardboard containers He sat on the piano bench, his hands held loosely in his lap I doubted he’d live to see forty-three

"Is that why you came back?" I asked "To lay this on me What do you want, permission? Approval?"

"Yeah, I’d like that"

I started blowing out candles, darkness gathering like sue with people who fall in love with death "Get out of ot up MondayI was in bad shape and I had no business being out there at all, but I couldn’t help myself This had to be the worst Christ up all that great as far as I could see It was now January 3, and I wanted my life back the way it was With luck, Rosie would reopen later in the day, andhonoring the fact that my body hurt, that I had no office at theoverup The day seemed unseasonably war Santa Ana conditions, winds gusting in from the desert, hot drafts like the blast fro time of year for it, but the air had that dry, dusty feel to it The sweat onto ot back to hborhood, I felt I’d blown some of the tension away Kinsey Millhone, perpetual optiate and took a fewdown Daniel’s car was gone In its place was a vehicle I hadn’t seen before-a co from the shape, anony in the area is restricted and garages are rare If I ever got a new car, I’d have to invest in a cover s dutifully before I went in to shower

Lance Wood called round noise was that hollow coests a phone booth

"Where are you?" I asked, as soon as he’d identified hiate I think my phone at work is tapped," he said

"Have you had it checked?"

"Well, I’o about it and I feel like a fool asking the phone company to co the fox to secure the henhouse What ot a tap?"

"Odd stuff I’ll have a conversation and the next thing I know, so I’ve said is all over the place I’ more insidious than that, like comments I’ve made to out-of-state custo"