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Walker climbed the hill a few steps behind Jon He’d wakened early, finding hiood He had energy and optimism He’d suddenly turned a corner He had no idea why or when the shift had occurred When he’d opened his eyes that ht that should have been depressing was actually all right He’d have preferred to be home with his wife and kids, but for now, he could do this It dawned on hi clean and sober felt better than the bestdrunk He didn’t want to live as he had, froover to the next It was as if a heavy set of chains had fallen away His deht as air The battle wasn’t over Coe to drink But he kne all he had to do hat he’d been doing for the past ten days Just not drink Just not succue went away Being clean and sober for ten days hadn’t killed hi him The absence of alcohol was to be celebrated--and not with a drink or a cigarette or a pill or anything else that ht come between him and his own soul If he could attribute the sense of well-being to anything, it was his decision to turn himself in In his conversation with Jon, he’d implied that he was still on the fence, but it wasn’t true, He wondered if this was the euphoria experienced by so himself in would be the end of life as he knew it, and that was okay with him He’d brave it, all of it--the shaation That was the deal he’dhis fate, and he accepted that now Drinking created the illusion he’d gotten aith so, but he couldn’t obliterate the burden in his soul Owning up would do it, taking responsibility

At the crest of the hill he paused to absorb the view Southern California was at its best in April Wildflowers had sprung up in the rass rustled in the wind It was quiet up here, even against the faint noise of traffic that rose from the town below Jon moved over to a table, where he stood, are In early March, a storh winds that had downed trees and torn off branches that now littered the area Walker bent and picked up a stick He flung it like a boouess we better talk while we can," Jon said

Walker sat on a picnic bench, elbows on his knees, fingers laced together loosely "I was thinking about it on the way over This business with Sutton won’t work I don’t want to be on the hook to hi around for his next appearance Fuck that The whole point in co clean is we don’t have to sweat this stuff It’s over and done"

"For you We still have the problem of how I coh this--"

"I knoe did I was hoping you’d come up with a solution So far, I haven’t heard one Get me out of the line of fire That’s all I ask"

"I’ my brain" Walker looked at his watch "What time did you tell him? Shouldn’t he be here by now?"

"I told him half an hour"

"Well, where is the little shit? You called o You’re avoiding the subject"

"Which is what, how you keep out of the line of fire?"

"Right I’d like to hear your thoughts"

"Yeah, well, et square, and I’m cool with that"

"So you said Have you any concern whatsoever about what this will do toso would injure others You don’t think I’ll be ‘injured’ if you blow the whistle on me?"

"I don’t think the admonition applies when there’s a serious criood friends, the best Then this caretted it We can’t socialize We can’t acknowledge one another in public I can’t even talk to you by phone"

"That’s more your rule than mine," Jon said,I only ever called you twice in the last twenty-one years, and that was in the past feeeks And you blewfor protection You owe me that"