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1 It was bedti about the past Once I cliht, I’d circle for hours, up and down, around and around, often at speeds that threatened to make me sick

2 Once I knew the content of the letters, I’d be stuck Inwas possible I could cling to -held beliefs about Grand’s indifference without the pesky contradiction of the truth What if the letters were filled with hearts and flowers and gushing sentiment? Then what? At this point, I wasn’t prepared to lay down my sword or my shield My defensive stance felt like power Surrender would be foolish until I understood the nature and strength of the ene, I went through my normal routine--the run, the shower, clothes, a cup of coffee with a bowl of cereal I picked upand the packet of letters and drove to the office, where I made yet another pot of coffee and settled at my desk This was an environment where I felt safe, the arena in which I experiencedin which to risk personal peace?

Before launching myself into uncharted territory, Iif Rain would be willing to meet with me She put Rain on the line and after a brief discussion, we agreed to get together Saturdaydistance of my studio The place was a favorite of hers and she’d been looking forward to having breakfast there while she was in town

I ot down to business I divided the letters into two piles In the first I placed those addressed to Virginia Kinsey; in the second, those addressed to an with Aunt Gin’s The earliest was postmarked June 2, 1955, three days after the accident in which ested that this was the only letter she’d opened before sealing it up again and sending it back

Dearest Virginia,

We write you with heavy spirits, our hearts burdened with sorroe know yours must be The loss of Rita Cynthia is more than any of us should have to bear, but I knoe must push forward for little Kinsey’s sake We were heartened by news that the doctors had examined her and found her unharests that given the trauma she’s suffered, we’ll want to have her reevaluated in aher response in the aftermath of the accident Children mend so much more quickly than adults do under the same circumstances Dr Grill cautioned that her physical recovery and her psychological well-being ive every appearance of having adjusted, an underlying depression could well ins to realize the finality of her parents’ passing He urged us all to be alert to the possibility

We were disappointed that eren’t allowed to see her during her overnight stay in the hospital here Of course, she was under observation and I’ to her care We would not have disturbed her for the world and I thought I’d made that clear Our only desire was to peep into the room so that we could see with our own eyes that her condition was stable We had hoped she ht spend time with us, but we perfectly understand your desire to take her straight home to all that is known and fa to visit the child as soon as possible so we can personally offer the comfort and support she so desperately needs If there’s anything we can do for you, in terms of emotional or financial relief, please let us know We stand ready with our arms open to you both

On another note, ould love to sit down together and discuss Kinsey’s future We believe it would be in the child’s best interests to be settled here with us Burton and I are putting together a proposal that should satisfactorily address both your needs and ours We look forward to an account of Kinsey’s progress

Your lovingat the senti about her two oldest daughters? I couldn’t be sure, but I suspected my mother would have reacted badly if she’d received such a letter Virginia, younger by a year, was doubtless incensed The Aunt Gin I’d known growing up, was volatile, opinionated, and fearless in the face of authority She’d have been livid at Grand’s barely disguised atteain the upper hand The pointed oinia further Grand’s reference to "a proposal" would have been especially offensive, as though my future were subject to a carefully constructed business plan that Aunt Gin would wares