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Lionel would have had to be a fool not to pick up on the chill in the air, but since neither Mona nor Jon would discuss the situation, his father was no doubt delighted to ignore the proble, and Lionel walked out to the garage and knocked at Jon’s door Jon hollered out, "It’s open!" and Lionel dutifully trudged up the stairs He took a moment to survey the place, which was as cold and bare as a cell

He said, "Well, it looks like you’ve settled in Very nice Is everything okay?"

"Sure," Jon said He knew his two rooms ithout character or comfort, but he didn’t want to offer his father the h out here?"

"Pretty et five minutes’ worth of lukewarlad you brought it up I’ll have Mona take care of it"

Jon suspected he’d just given his father an opening to the Mona discussion that loomed It was up to his father to proceed without any help from him

"Mind if I sit down?"

Jon moved a pile of dirty clothes from a wooden desk chair so his father could take a seat Lionel began a long, raed that things were so her best, and Lionel said it was only fair that Jon meet her halfway

Jon stared at him, bemused by the enormity of Lionel’s self-delusion Of course, his father was her defender She and Lionel were allies Jon had no recourse There was no court of appeals In effect, his father was announcing that Jon was totally at her ue, her uncanny ability to seize the upper hand: for all of this, she had Lionel’s blessing Jon couldn’t believe his father didn’t see as going on

"Well, Dad," he said carefully, "not to be obtuse about it, but from my perspective, she’s a clusterfuck"

Lionel reacted as though slapped "Well, son, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion, but I trust you’ll keep it to yourself I’d appreciate it if you’d try to get along with her, for ure that?"

Lionel shook his head, his tone patient "I know the adjustment isn’t easy She’ll never replace yourfor that and neither a person, aet to know her better In the meantime, I expect you to treat her with the respect she deserves"

It was the word "a" that somehow stuck in Jon’s craw Mona was the enemy, but he could see how futile it was to battle her head-on After that, Jon referred to her as the Ah never in his father’s company and never to her face The needs’ first Christled Lionel to play Santa for a Cli Academy fund-raiser, and every year thereafter, he donned his white hite beard, and white mustache, and then climbed into a red velvet fat suit, trimmed in white fur Even his boots were fake In Jon’s raph that exactly captured their relationship was the one in a silver frarand piano in the newly decorated living room In it she was decked out in a low-cut Yves Saint Laurent evening gown, perched seductively on Santa’s lap While she glowed for the cae to raise over a hundred thousand dollars for the school, and for this she idely praised

Jon unburdened himself bitterly to his brother by phone "She is such a total bitch She’s a tyrant I’ na rcissist"

Grant said, "Oh, come on You’ll be out of the house in a year or two, so what’s it to you?"

"She thinks she can runpussy-whipped"

"So what? That’s his business, not yours"

"Shit, that’s easy for you to say I’d like to see you try living under the same roof with her"

Bored with the topic, Grant said, "Just tough it out Once you finish high school you can co away from all my friends!"

"That’s the best I can offer Stiff upper lip, old chuan breaking into various Horton Ravine homes he kneere unoccupied While he caddied at the club, he picked up all manner of infor the cruises and European tours, jaunts to San Francisco, Chicago, and New York It was a fore rates, good deals on charter flights, and luxury hotels Lionel and Mona socialized with most of them, so all Jon had to do was look up their addresses in Mona’s Rolodex He’d wait until the faone and find his way in If there was talk of an alarm system or a house sitter, he knew to avoid the place People were careless about locking up Jon found s unlatched, base that, he scouted out the house keys hidden under flowerpots and fake garden rocks