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"Shit, have you ever really talked to those guys? Do you have any idea what their lives are like? You pat yourselves on the back for doing good deeds, but what does that airlfriends have ‘charity luncheons,’ raising a pittance for whatever tidy little cause has taken your fancy What difference does it s? None of you put yourselves on the line You’re safe and you’re s your hands with the real problee if I were you You talk about safe and s handed to you You blew off your education and now you’re playing house, thinking you’re a grown-up when you haven’t accepted a shred of responsibility for yourself or Shelly or even that poor son of hers What have you done that makes you think you’re superior?"
"I’ll tell you e’ve done We’re civil rights activists You didn’t know that, did you? Because you never bothered to ask about our beliefs We’vebus terminals and restrooms and water fountains in the South"
Deborah was taken aback "You went to Washington, DC?" "Well, no There was a rally in San Francisco There were hundreds of us You and Dad are sheep You’d go along with anything just to avoid"
She could feel a flash of te None of your political rhetoric has anything to do hat’s going on here so don’t muddy the waters You’ve dropped a bo e can to adjust to the situation You and Shelly don’t have the right to abuse and insult us"
Shawn tore into the kitchen again, running full tilt Deborah reached out a hand and grabbed him by the upper ar and shrieking while we’re having a conversation"
Shawn stopped in his tracks He wasn’t accusto His face cru open in a howl so profound there wasn’t any sound at first He clutched his penis for co for the first time how vulnerable he ithout clothes on Deborah couldn’t even bear to look at him When his tears failed to have the desired effect, he added screams "I hate you I want my mama I want my mama"
Deborah waited for his tantrum to subside, but he just revved it up a notch, the tone of his screa what he could to cal to reason and explain while Shawn collapsed on the kitchen floor He lay on his back and kicked his feet hard, catching Deborah’s ankle in the process
"Shit," she said, knowing she’d be bruised for a hteous indignation Her face was puffy and her hair was matted from sleep She took one look at Shawn and turned on Deborah "What did you do to hiht How dare you lay a hand onwitha pleasant tone, Deborah said, "What discipline, Shelly? All I did was tell hi and I were in the h I don’t expect you to erabbed Shawn and lifted hih saving hi, cool look, daring him to take Shelly’s part
"Jesus, Moot up, and left the house
For the next hour, Deborah could hear Shelly out in the bus, yelling and weeping Accusations, recriminations She leaned forward and laid her cheek on the cool surface of the kitchen table Dear god, hoould she get through the next four , April 7, 1988
Thursday, I woke at 6:00 AM and pulled onI brushed my teeth but left the rest ofair When the weather’s hot the run leavesmakes a mess of it anyway At the beach, the only people I see are as unke for the health benefits, which are probably minimal at best I do the (almost) daily three-mile run for the sake of vanity and peace ofwhile they chat or lone individuals with their headsets in place, listening to god knohat I crave the quiet, which allows hts