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Like he would say no to that "I’d like to see someone try to fuckin’ stop me"

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Josiah

They went to a beach town about an hour away from home Josiah sat in the front seat while Tristan drove Mateo slept behind hieous" Josiah looked out theDespite the gray skies and dark clouds, he saw nothing but the beauty in the ocean stretching as far as he could see; cliffs and rocks and forever in front of them

"That’s how I ended up here Did I ever tell you that?" Tristan asked from beside him

"No You’re not the most open of books," he teased, and Tristan sh"

Tristan’s tongue ran over his bottoraveyard shift at a restaurant one night I was young, I can’t ree, but I would sit in one of the booths with her, sometimes sleep there while she worked if I didn’t have school the next day One night this older couple sat in the booth in front of me They were probably in their sixties, but toat this book and talking about all the adventures they were going to have They kept s hands I thinkI think that was the first time I realized love existed for some people It had only been an illusion I’d heard about before that I’d definitely never seen it"

The sadness in Tristan’s voice wrapped around Josiah, a cold hand giving him the shivers

"I remember how they looked at each otherthe way they sounded when they spoke about their future It made me hate them I wanted my mother to have that I wanted to have their happiness"

"That just means you’re hulanced his way "Forever the optimist We need that, Mateo and I We’d drown in our pain if it wasn’t for you"

"That’s not true Still, you have me You’ll both always have me"

Tristan nodded and continued "I remember the ent to the bathrooister on the way out I realized they’d forgotten their book It sat there on the table, and all I could think was I wanted it They were going to get to live whatever was inside of it, but I wouldn’t Even as a child, I was pessimistic," he chuckled

"The woister I knew I should grab their book and bring it to them, but I didn’t Instead, I took it and went to the bathroo, afraid to coht, that my mom finally opened the door and called my name My hands shook as I stuffed the book into ht, but when I came out, she only said she had been worried about one by then For weeks afterward, I didn’t look at the book Every tiuilt held me back I aluilty for having it at the same tih it was just a book, I shouldn’t have kept that part of the Tristan must have felt The pain he still felt "You didn’t take their dreah he didn’t knohat to do with Josiah

"Finally I couldn’t take it any of clothes I had, because we didn’t have dressers It was pictures of San Francisco, and other cities around the bay area Wineries, coastal towns, things like that It gave descriptions, and in the ins were notes they’d made about what they wanted to see and when It was this strangetaken this personal roadmap from them, jealousy that they could still live it, andmaybe hope that I could have it one day I would pretend that it would be ry, because by then, I thought it would never happen, so I hid it, and didn’t look at it again When I needed to leave New York later on, this is where I came"

"Another resemblance"

Tristan turned to him "What do you mean?"

"Just that this area was mine and Teo’s dream, and it was yours as well It’s another piece of us that er Full Do you still have it? The book?"

Tristan’s features tightened at that, and Josiah realized he’d hit a nerve