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Jaylinn tries to turn over but I reach out and place my hand on her hip to stop her I wipe so to be sorry for"
She cries harder and buries her head into the crook of my neck I’m afraid to touch her because most of the time she can’t handle it but I want to comfort her, I need to Or maybe it’s that I need to comfort myself? I didn’t know for sure, all I know is that I need to touch her I start out slow by running oing to pull away, I run the in and letting me take the pain away
That’s all I needed to hear I pull her whole body so it’s flush againstbut at least the tears have stopped, that’s all I can ask for right now I kiss her head a couple of ti anywhere
Eventually her body relaxes in my arms, and I think she’s fallen asleep but she surprises hs loudly, "I need you to wash that night away I want you to o away" She sniffles and reaches up to wipe her face "I need you to do this withanyone else but," She huffs, "it needs to happen I want sohtmare and it’s the only way I can think to do it"
I don’t respond right away because I’ll ad usually scares me but this, with her; it scares the shit out of oing to have to eventually, Cooper I don’t kno much more of this I can take" Jaylinn turns over to face the other direction and moves to the end of the bed
She doesn’t understand and I don’t think she will be able to I wish I could talk to someone about what I should do but I’ve sworn on my life that this stays between us and I could never break my promise to her
I’m lost in my own head What if we did have sex and in thehat happened to her? I don’t ever want to know Can I be the one that ash away the memories and make new ones with her? That’s what I want to happen, she doesn’t deserve this What will happen to her, toon between us? I’m not sure but I would hope we could overcome it Would she survive? In Jaylinn fashion she will Will she sink further into herself without seeking professional help? Yeah she will, but her pride will get in her way Would I be able to sit back and do nothing? Hell no, I won’t be able to ever do that
If Jaylinn did get tired of waiting around for ift away frouy she finds s back those sparkling blue eyes then I’d gladly step aside I’ll be there every step of the way for her It’s not what I want to happen because I want Jaylinn If I’ honest with ht away I was too worried about the next piece of ass and living the college dreah and I want her ain I’m afraid that when, if, we take the next step that it will push her away in the end
"Maybe I’m scared because you mean more to me than any other person in h that if she’s awake she’ll heardown onin here with y with the teaet o for a run I will not let last night’s dreaet over this shit, Jay" I tellive me the motivation I need It kinda does
I pull my ass from the bed and put on a pair of sweatpants from the pile of clothes I have here at Cooper’s, and pull on an old Boston University hoodie from Cooper’s closet In the bathroom I brush my teeth, washshoes, grab o out the back door I et back in when I’ with hborhood it’s okay if I leave the back door open
It’s freezing outside thisto makeelse to focus on and not let et about a mile into my run whensoccer and running have built up h Running and reading arein a dark room surface but I refuse to let my mind wander back there It’s tie, Cooper’s words froht float intoafter all We need a change, so else to focus on instead of the past and what could possibly becoirls; h to Cooper and ht here and I want this with hi to step up to the plate then ive him a reason to Tempt him in ways he’s never been tempted before
I take a detour in my normal run and head to Hailey’s house since it’s closest and I know she’ll help me hat I need I’ her brother I’uess I’d rather her not know my sex life, just like she doesn’t flaunt her sex life withon Mason and Hailey’s door I wait longer than normal because Hailey is hoet up off the couch and waddle to the door
"You’re fking bat shit crazy It’s freezing and you’re running around outside like it’s summer" Hailey holds the door open for me to pass by "Get in here"