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I shook my head and answered my therapist truthfully "No It’s not worse"

She wrote that doith that turquoise fountain pen I thought was so beautiful

"Thank you for helpingwith clarity for what I think is the first time," I told her

"Can you explain what you e breath and gave it my best shot "I know my dad loved me and I know he kne much I loved him back We had the kind of relationship where we shared our feelings all the tirets there I’ to be done about that It’s just life Look at Ethan, who lost his ether and he barely re father for al smile "It makes me so happy to hear you talk like this You’ve cracked the secret code, I’ you a bill for , Dr Roswell You will be stuck with uilt trips I’ll be taking soon"

She laughed in her gentle way "I look forward to those chats very much" She closed her notebook and capped her fountain pen "So tellplans I want to hear every detail"

Facebook was quite a nice tool for planning a wedding, I had discovered Elaina had suggested it toher own and knehat she was talking about I sat doith ed intophotos and business links that consisted of me and my small army of foot soldiers: Gaby, Ben, Hannah, Elaina, Marie and Victoria, the official wedding planner, who actuallyjob, in ly smoothly for as now an i I was hor personal loss, I decided I was doing pretty damn well for myself

Ethan had been so crushed at his job we barely saw one another, and the e I knoorried about ive me as much of his attention as he could, but there just wasn’t any time to spare I understood the pressure he was under, and Ithat had happened in the last weeks anyway He cas once he got there To make love, and to have me within reach while he slept Ethan’s need for physical contact was still as strong as ever I did not mind a bit I needed it just as much as he did, I think We both worried about each other

I shot off a quick ements she’d posted and joked that we talked to each other more on Facebook than we did in person Stupid, really, especially when she lived in the sa as I did Elaina and Neil were just as totally swamped with their jobs at Blackstone Security International as Ethan was Nobody had much time to spare

I left there and checked es had been left for me There were soe Fund in San Francisco that ed to assist disadvantaged but et a university education I kneould have wanted it, so I had announced that in lieu of flowers, donations could be sent directly to Meritus instead The fund kindly sent ift in ift, as had the staff at the Rothvale Gallery, and Gaby’s father, Rob Hargreave Their thoughtfulness touched es back to them

I posted a nice photo onpictures froht home with me In this particular one, ere both dressed in what looked like paja in front of hirins on both our faces I wondered who had taken it Myin the photoand looked really happy At least I had precious ot sad when I realized there would be no grandpa pictures of hi hit me in the chest and I had to close et when you have to reh with therandpa pictures, though Yes, he would I knew that Ethan’s dad would be a hands-on grandparent Itabout Jonathan and Marie babysitting for us I had randh Change of topic please

A new e box

Karl Westreen dot I’ve made it to London for the Gaot in yesterday:/ How are you?

KarlHe’d found me on Facebook shortly after the funeral and we’d chatted a tiny bit since then I re him for the Games, and Jess had reminded me too She was disappointed, really, that she wasn’t able to coe sports fan The Oly farthe Ga stuff, no s are betterthanks Where are you staying in London?

Karl West in my history of Jimi while I’m here

Brynne Bennett: Ha! I re me to lunch later today He used to drive a London cab and knows all the sites and history of places like that You could et in a quick history lesson??

Karl Westet there and I’ll find you guys

I logged out of Facebook and headed for the shower I had a lunch date with my father-in-law-to-be, and then a photo session after No time for the sin of sloth today