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Ryan: Mmmm…back…scratch…back…scratch…M it in your own head, Reynolds And now I’ my last name Now listen up, Reynolds…Heeheehee…I sound like such a badass!

Si? Inside joke, she says So rabbed the wrong bag of Gardetto’s Did she just growl at me?

Caroline: Turn my tatas down and then try to steal my Gardetto’s? I don’t think so, buddy Okay, Reynolds, noYou can’t avoid this forever, even in your own mind Here are the questions on deck: 1 Why did you throw yourself at Siht? And you’re not allowed to blame alcohol or2 Why did he turn you down? If he didn’t want to go there, why has he been flirting with you for weeks, and not just in the neighborly way? He’s got a hare rejected by Sireed to with Ja just friends e knohat the inside of each other’s ood Okay, yes You can sniff the sweater one more time--just don’t let anyone see you

Sireat, and I reat…Has there ever been a wo for? Except for Natalie Port so uy in his own mind even thinks in sentences like: "Has there ever been a wo for?" Wait, have I been looking for that woman? No, I haven’t I don’t have tiirls don’t want the picket fence They keep away the picket fencers Caroline says she isn’t a picket fencer…Katie found her picket fence, and I’m happy for her When’s the last tiht for ht want…could want Caroline You’re such a pussy, Parker…Jesus, Caroline--she’s a fking keeper…Wait athe idea of a…gulp…relationship? And why the fk did I actually think the word "gulp"? That was a little dramatic, Parker Come on, think about this…If I recall correctly, you invited her to Spain! Don’t run away from it Dude, did she just sniff her sweater?

Ryan: Mirl likes beef jerky--could I be any luckier? She scratches one somewhere like heaven

Mimi: I can’t believe he ate all my beef jerky What a jerky Heehee

Caroline: Question 1 is too hard I can’t start with that one I’ll answer them in reverse order 4 I don’t knoe can be friends, but I really want to be--and not in the fake way I really like Siht sucked ure this out…And I would like to have so 3 OF COURSE I AGREED TO GO OUT WITH JAMES BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH SIMON! It’s funny how that shows up in all caps even ingenius Bad breath? No Because I was drunk? Possibly…But if it’s because ere drunk that’s the worst ti for chivalry in the history of the universe He did keep saying "I can’t" and that it was a "ht have been worth it…Maybe he was just being faithful to his harem? Which in an odd way is quite sweet I know he really does care about thereat when it comes to them! But I know "I can’t" wasn’t accurate "Can’t" implies some kind of erectile dysfunction And I felt that junk on s to ain--why does she keep doing that? When I wore it I didn’t notice it s other than wool Girls are weird…weirdly wonderful…Pussy…Caroline’s pussy…Aaand I’ I’irl? And it has nothing to do with her pussy…and now I’et out of answering this question Face it head on! Why did you throw yourself at Si about the friendship and the hareood reasons you had for staying away froer voodoo??? Come on, Caroline Suck it up and say it What was it he said when you asked hiht you met? "Because I had to" Jesus, even inthat…There’s your answer, Caroline: because you had to And now you have to figure this shit out I kissed him, and he kissed me because we had to And the choices we made were ours and ours alone…And the fact that he stopped it and said he couldn’t? Even after all the ridiculous weeks of flirting? After he invited o to o to Spain with hiood reason because I a catch Yeah, you are, Reynolds Weird how you flip back and forth between first and third person during your inner h introspection…

Sie We’re alo with Caroline We’ve barely said anything the entire way--although I’lad to be almost home I smell like beef jerky, and I need to jerk off like you wouldn’t believe…

Mi the night at e We’re alht at her place--and planning on s I plan to do to you…But I’ain This has been the quietest road trip ever

We dropped off the new couple at Mimi’s--not that they particularly noticed--they were in their own bubble guh we’d rown during the drive, and it was even more noticeable now that ere alone in the car Sis to talk about, but now that we had so s to be weird, and I knew I’d have to be the one to make sure he kneas okay now He’d already done his part to have a ain my bull-in-a-china-shop delivery see on the deck, at full volume, that I’d made a pass at Simon flashed across my mind, and while my cheeks certainly heated in embarrassment, I also had a ,at frightened Simon to followto thrash hi at his hands on the steering wheel, the very hands that were on ht before, I marveled at his ability to stop himself, because I know for a fact he had been in to it Or his body had been, at least, if not his head

The thing is, though, I did think his head was in it, at least until he thought about it tooere pulling down our street As we stopped at the curb, he looked over atdown on the sao I’d had the good fortune to be biting on

He sprang from the car and ran around to my side before I even had s," he stah his hair while his right druainst the side of the car Was he nervous?

"So, yeah," he sta around the back

Yep, he was nervous, just as nervous as I was He worried hts of stairs to our apart, so the only sound was our keys jangling in the locks I couldn’t leave it like this I had to square with him I took a deep breath, and turned "Sihed a little

"You go"

"No, you go," he said

"Nope What were you gonna say?"

"What were you gonna say?"

"Hey, spit it out, bucko I got a puy to rescue fro Clive call to ainst his door "I guess I just wanted to say I had a really great tiainsthim flinch as I addressed the elephant in the hot tub

"Caroline," he breathed, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back

He looked like he was in actual pain as his face twisted I took pity I shouldn’t have, but I did

"Hey, can we just forget it happened?" I said "I et it? I know people say things won’t get weird all the tis don’t get weird?"