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I shook it sole in and began to pace by the front door, pawing under the crack

"I bet our Thai is al toward the door as I headed for my purse on the kitchen counter Just as I spoke, I could hear steps in the hallway

"Miuy," I called, ruh my purse

"Got it," she yelled, and I heard the door open "Oh, hey there, Siest sound

I would swear, on a stack of Bibles in a court of actual law, that I heard my cat speak

"Porrrrreeeennnnnya," Clive said, and I whirled about

In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I saw Sis from Whole Foods in hands, key in front door I saw Mi) in the doorway I saw Clive rear back on his hind legs preparing to jump in a way that I’d only ever seen hie Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and soasm All in those five seconds

I launched myself at the door in a slow-motion run reminiscent of every action movie ever made

"Nooooooooo!" I cried as I saw a look of panic cross Purina’s face and a look of pure lust cross Clive’s as he prepared to woo If I’d started for the door any earlier, maybe even a second earlier, I could’ve prevented the pandemonium that ensued

Simon pushed his door open and sht his eye No doubt he ondering why I was charging the door and screaed Purina saw Clive ju she could’ve done She ran She ran into Siirl who ave chase, and as I stood in the hallith Si back to us It sounded oddly fa it on home I shook my head and took over

"Caroline, what the hell was that? Your cat just--" Si, and I placed my hand over his mouth as I hurried past hiet Clive!"

Mimi followed me into his apartment, Ned Nickerson to my Nancy Drew I followed the shrieks andthat Sie of uy, with the flat screen TV and the a sound system I didn’t really have time for a proper shakedown, but I did notice therooraphs all over the walls lit by retro sconces I couldn’t ad worked up in the bedroo to Purina scream I looked back at Simon and Mih Mi in," I said in a low, brave voice With a deep breath I pushed the door open, and saw the Bedroom of Sin for the first time Desk in the corner Dresser on one wall, with top covered in loose change More photographs on the wall, black and whites And there it was: his bed

Cue truiant California king, complete with a padded, leather headboard Padded It would have to be, noouldn’t it? It was i with his hps alone? Once again Lower Caroline sat up straight and took notice

I centered, I focused, and I pried aset: there at the leather club chair in front of thePurina perched on the back of this chair, hands in her hair,Her skirt was shredded, and there were tiny claw s She atte to shrink away from the cat on the floor in front of her

And Clive?

Clive was strutting Strutting back and forth in front of her, giving it his all He turned like he was on a runway, pacing along a line on the floor and glancing at her nonchalantly

If Clive could wear a blazer, he would have taken it off, draped it casually over his kitty shoulder, and pointed at her It was all I could do not to fall down laughing I stepped toward hinored her and focused all ood boy?" I crooned, and he turned He glanced at h he werethe first round of introductions "Who’s your new friend?" I crooned again, shakingI held reat finesse

"Clive, come here!" Mimi yelled and barreled into the roo her excitement

Clive made for the door as Mimi made for Clive Purina made for the bed as I raced after Mimi, who collided with Si his daanic produce rained down on both of the over limbs and a wheel of Brie on ht Clive just as he made a break for the stairs and held him close

"Clive, you know better than to run away froht up to us

"What the hell are you doing, cockblocker? Are you trying to kill me?" he shouted

Mimi rounded on hier!" she fired back, s his chest

"Oh, you two shut up!" I yelled Here ca only one shoe and a furious look She began to shout in Russian

Miled to get loose and be reunited with his one and only, and I stood in the ure out what the hell had happened in the last two minutes

"Get control of your da free

"Don’t you yell at Caroline!" Miain

"Look at my skirt!" Purina cried

"Did someone order pad thai?" I heard above the chaos I looked and saw a petrified delivery boy standing on the top step, reluctant to come any further

Everyone stopped

"Unbelievable," Mi for the delivery boy to follow her I set Clive just inside the door and pulled it shut, cutting off his cries Si her softly to find so in his room to put on

"I’ll be there in just a lared atthe door

He turned back to h at the sah his chuckles

"I’m afraid it did Please tell Purina I a tears from my eyes

"I will, but she needs to cool off for a while before I will attempt that--wait, what did you just call her?" he asked

"U

"Why do you call her that?" he asked, no longer laughing

"Seriously? Coure it out?" I said

"No, tell h his hair