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"But you canceled all those trips"

"Yeah But I was always going to head back out on the road"

"But after the reunion, you--"

"You need to understand soood way I want a ho to change And for the record, I’d never have a discussion with Ruth about so about it with you," he said, taking s we probably should have discussed before we juot excited, I suppose It’s soot excited too And I love the house, don’t getThere are just all these expectations that coot overwhel a deal this was for you I just didn’t know if I could measure up to what you wanted"

"I ran away from my past for years because it was too hard for ood stuff back in But the really good stuff is all with you, babe The rest of it is just a pile of bricks You want to get rid of the house? Done You want to live in a hut on the beach in Bali? Done"

"I think I said get laid on a beach in Brazil --"

"Done," he breathed, his eyes dancing

I looked at hi rid of the house," I said, and leaned in "And I do want a nursery--just not now Is that okay?" I asked, suddenly very very serious Jesus, this was big-ti about now, anyway?"

When I started to answer, he squeezedpoor Ruth back into this"

"I owe her an apology"

"Probably"

"And I owe you an apology"

"For what?"

"For not trusting you enough to tell you as going on I should have I just didn’t want to ruin things Who could cos look so perfect?"

"Better to co lot in the rain, don’t you think?"

He had y," he said, his brorinkling "You were right, I should have fixed that "

"Simon, no I was mad and I never should have said--"

"No, it’sto find hiain "C’mere"

I went around to his side of the booth and let hiht, and I kissed hio find our cat

• • •

The nextwe called the Humane Society, the ASPCA, our vet in the city, and even the pet hotel The as out My cat was lost

Tea all over the town We talked to neighbors, ht of hiether as we searched on until dark, holding hands and flashlights and calling his name until ere hoarse It wasn’t the only reasonI tried not to let Sietting to fix aAnd when he saw my sadness, it as station bathroo down to pretend to tie a shoelace over and over again Stolenface We’d find him Of course we’d find him

But then it was the second day And the third day Then a week I spentfor the click click click of that stupid hangnail, which would htmare and I’d wake up with Clive curled into ry caterwaul by the back door that was saying, "Hey, lady, you weren’t drea I really did run away, but I’ out here!"

I watched as the flyers got weatherworn and tattered We put up new ones And they got old too

The worst part was that I kept i the worst possible outco to decide what it could handle by showing ht have happened To see if I could handle it, I suppose

Clive cold and wet and trying to figure out how to get into a trash can to find so chased aith a broo circled by two or three other cats He had no front claws to defend himself with; he was a pampered house cat that slept on a pillow and was served catnip on de busy helped; because I loved my job; and because the Claremont was finally ready to launch

The house was really starting to take shape, and things with Simon and me were as well We talked more than we had before--not just about the silly day-to-day things that s too We cleared offabout what really matters and what kind of a life anted for ourselves Don’t getand the sexy, because that’s ere But ere evolving Iine that

I told him I wanted to be the kind of couple that spent some of their holidays in some far-off fairy tale He told me he wanted to be the kind of couple that had all their family and friends over for Christirl who bought her own car He told irlfriend a car

For the record, I won this one We took the car back and I bought myself a used Mercedes convertible Silver this tih that I could afford the h that Si our toes into Grown-Up Lake, rather than barreling into it like a giant cannonball I wasn’t giving up on Clive, but a resignation began to sink in after teeks had passed, one that I had to acknowledge I had to be practical here In the grand scheedy Only little girls cry theone

Sure

chapter twenty-two

I stood in the lobby of the Clare in every detail: the check-in desk created entirely of reclailea The replacement art installation And the view of the bay as the sun cast its last bit of light over the water,sparkle and shine