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Chapter one

Standing atop a lonely hill, Vivian gazed out upon the turbulent sea Voluptuous and shapely, she cut a striking silhouette Rese the siren she was purported to be, she looked to the west A dark ship appeared on the horizon, and with its sighting, her pulse quickened Was it the dark pirate captain who haunted her dreams? A tall and fierce warrior, his face was full of fury And passion With just a glance from him, her loins quivered With a touchi from faraway lands and adventures she could only dreae and plunder her body as only he could? Would the pirate bestow upon her the treasure of his manhood? Or would he cast her aside as an empty booty?

Would he?

Would he?

Would he care for another Diet Dr Pepper?

Wait, what?

I was torn from my pirate fantasy by the nasal, weenie voice of Richard Harrison, CPA

"Can I get another Diet Dr Pepper, please? And for the lady, another--as it you’re having, Viv?"

"Scotch Water Neat," I answered, looking across the table at the latest in a long line of blind dates Set up by my mother, which should have been ht Not that she didn’t have good taste; she’d picked a looker with Richard Strike that--he was a looker if that’s what you were into

Brown hair Brown eyes Brown chinos, perfectly creased White button-down White teeth Blindingly white, actually; I was pretty sure when he sot its wings?

Jesus, Viv, get a grip

I sipped ood burn, but at the bad turn this conversation was taking Tax laws over appetizers Nothing like a little burrata caprese with a side of capital gains