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Ho kick soht ended in bloodshed The girls went down, and went down hard I know exactly how that sounds But it’s true We sucked a big fat Scattergories dick And Pictionary dick And Apples to Apples could very well have been rena But once everyone was gone, and my skirt was up around my ears as Siht with the world

Chapter four

The following broadcast was originally aired on local San Francisco NBC affiliate KNTV

"Hey there, it’s Neil co to you live fro on the Seattle Seahawks, their toughest rivals in the NFC West We’ll be with you play-by-play as these terhouse tearidiron But before the tea out, one equally as fiercely co, of course, about tailgating Wieners or bratwurst? Hots or brats? We’re going to let these fans put it all on the line, and in the bun, as we taste test the best in tailgating cuisine

"Now here we have Marcus O’Reilly, a native of the Bay Area, and a staunch hot dog supporter He says there’s nothing like a good hot dog at a football gaht, Marcus?"

"Oh, it sure is, Neil A hot dog will take out a bratwurst any day of the week"

"Those are fighting words, Marcus And I’ll be taking a big bite out of that wiener in just a ht, bratwurst enthusiast and, I understand, an aht about that, Neil And I’’s butt anywhere, anyti boy!"

"Whoa, whoa, fellas, let’s keep the trash talking on the field, huh? We’re just here to enjoy soaetting so news over my headphone abouta baby and adeliveryvan? So back to the studio for this story? Wait a minute--who’s in labor? Sophia--wait, my Sophia? I’m on my way, I’m on my way! John! Gimme the van keys! Gimme the keys so I can--"

Audio is dropped at this point as the shot widens to include two confused sausage enthusiasts, three confused news crew guys, and an entire legion of tailgating fans eager to be on television, all watching as the KNTV satellite van careens away toward the on-ramp, driven by a panicked sportscaster The last shot we can see before the feed is lost is the newscaster yelling out of theat drivers to "Pull over, this is a baby eency" and to "Get out of the way, for God’s sake" and "I’ain?"

"I can’t stop I literally can’t stop It’s too fantastic"

"It is pretty great How many hits is it up to now?" Simon asked