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I checked the ot home from school Patti wasn’t home from work yet

I almost threw the small postcard aith the rest of the junk htI stared at that postcard, overwhelrabbed et s It didn’t matter where I just needed to be on the open road

Halfway to Atlanta I ended up at the top of Lookout Point Since it was the middle of the day, I was the only one up there I felt the rush of being soreat expanse, I understood why I’d been drawn to that particular place

I cut the car off and sat there looking at the postcard in h it was a beautiful scene, I knew the picture could not do it justice I flipped the postcard over and read the tiny, boxy scratch ofnext to my name and address

I’m sorry

That was all it said But those tords spoke ret Heartache and lost opportunity And ulti aat the edge of the enormous abyss How small he must have felt Did he realize, as I did now, that it was all sothe postcard in her altitude Walking to the roped edge, I looked out at the vastness of the divide Our own canyon, though not so grand The valley before me dipped low, and every inch of plant life was covered in a leafy vine, like a rain forest jungle Kudzu: the vine that ate the South I’d always thought it was beautiful, in a wild sort of way, but not today Today I felt bad for the trees that suffocated underneath

I pulled out my cell phone, scrolled down, and dialed before I had tie my mind I didn’t knohat I’d say or what I wanted to hear hi, and simply shared silent airtime Maybe I could bask in the sound of his voice mail one last time

"The nu up, shoving the phone inmy head fall back as the wind picked up

It was over Truly over My eyes fluttered closed and I heard the patter of rain ainst my skin The fresh drops from heaven were soft on my face In that moment I was embraced by the elements, comforted just as if Patti held , I let the pain turieved withleft to cry I liftedthe rain wash away the salty tears

Now I understood what Kai tried to getso you couldn’t have I would never have a husband and children He would never have the freedom to let himself be loved And each timeeach other was a painful reminder of those facts

Patti told me that to truly love someone, you must hold them in an open hand That was how I needed to love Kai It was necessary to uncurl o

As if pleased with h Clouds shifted until a ray of winter sun poured across the valley and onto the peak of Lookout Point, wara sacy of sin froe of hope from my mother, and that was the one I needed to eain, or when, but I kneould love him all my life We would always have our hter and the feel of each other’s lips I’d always know he’d been willing to die for s away

Like humans, I had no idea as in store for s But I didn’t doubt I would, indeed, be used If life was a game, like everyone said, then I wanted to win I held up my hands to the heavens

Deal me in