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I knew the sounds she ers just the way she liked

And there were things that were new, things I found ain The little s funny and aiting for ht tilt to the edges of her lips and eyes A challenge

The way she gently pinched her lower lip when she was reading

There was the way she kissed me that day on the roof, slow and lazy and like there was nowhere else, nowhere at all to be

But I didn’t know this Sara I’d always suspected that the feistiness I enjoyed so much about her was a form of self-preservation But I never anticipated the way it would feel to see it gone like this; it was like a punch in the gut that took the breath straight froathered her hands inher expression "Talk to ain "Don’t want to talk"

"Sara, I don’tyour distraction but at least be honest with "

"I’m fine" But she wasn’t fine She wouldn’t have co your own rules by even being here This is better--this is real--but it’s also different and I want to knohy"

She pulled back, looking up at ht

She setically "He said he wanted s I once wanted him to say, about how he’s different now and he ain"

I watched her, waiting She pressed her face to e "He’s just worried about his can Our entire relationship was a lie"

"I’m so sorry, Sara"

"I looked up Cecily"

I blinked, confused "Okay?"

"So about her name stuck with me, and after you told me about her, I wanted to knohat she looked like" She pulled back, looking at ht I’d et their faces two seconds after I shook their handsbut I re, but let her keep talking

"So I went hoain before I called hihtly "He went on and on for a half hour about how sorry he was, hoas just the one tiive himself So I asked him about Cecily And do you knohat he said?"

"Cecilywhat?"

"He said, ‘Fuck, Sare Do we have to do this now? That’s ancient history’ He fked her, Max Andy was the politician she talked about in her letter Andrew Morton, whoring congressh the Seventh District They slept together the night I roaned I’d been at that fund-raiser, but not as her date Cecily had been upset with ry, but I never knehy

She flinched inout of a bathrooet me to move, but I told him to wait, that I had to use the restroom And then she stepped out of the men’s room, and looked at him, and then me, and it was really aard and I had no idea why she stormed off But she’d been in there with him"

I wrapped my ar us in a soundproof bubble This was the sht it’d been when I saw her playing pinball, or she urged me into the privacy of a cab in the o, Cecily had sex with Sara’s boyfriend because she was upset with ret passing up a relationship with Cecily But I couldn’t help feeling guilty soain

"No, you don’t understand" She looked up atover her face and she didn’t even care "We’d only been together for a few ht up until the end, I’d assuht that had only started recently But he was never faithful--never"

I tightenedto do with you, yeah? It only tells me what a despicable huhtened, looking up atdown a sratitude in the seized in my chest with the way she looked atwe had was great--a entirely new

"I ith hi time Part of me wondered if he’d just lad I was right to leave I’m justready for better this time," she said

I sed down this new es and affection weren’t supposed to be part of the deal, trying to focus instead on where ere and the fact that her very nad body was still pressed against mine

"There are plenty ofto keep my voice steady, co hollowed out and filled with ice water to i realization, I reached behind and turned off the faucet, grabbing a towel that hung nearby "Let’s get you dried off; it’s freezing in here"

"Butyou don’t want to--"

"You’ve had one hell of a day," I said, sht and I’ll defile you next time" I wanted to ask her to stay, but I wasn’t sure I could handle it if she said no tonight "Are you okay?"

She nodded, pressing her face to my chest "I think I just need some sleep"

"I’ll have Scott drive you ho each other It was a bit of a reverse seduction seeing her pull her jeans on, fasten her bra, cover her brsts with her sweater But I didn’t think I’d ever wanted herher put herself back together

I was falling in love with her And I was royally fucked

SaturdayI’d started to dial Sara at least twenty ti My head told ive her so like a fking teenager

Call her, you git Ask her to come out today Don’t take no for an answer