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I turned, smiled up at him His eyes ide open and clear, and when they met mine, they curved into a smile I’d never looked so ht, and this city, made me immediately sure this was the best decision I’d ever made

Dear New York, You are brilliant Love, Sara

PS This is definitely not the alcohol talking

"I don’t have many chances to look at the back of my neck"

"A shame, really" He pulled his hand away and I felt ainto his pocket and pulled out a tiny package

A condom He just happened to have a condo a condo ainst the wall and bent to kiss ht I’d loseat my jaw, my ear, my neck, where my pulse hahs, but his fingers teased at the edge, slowly lifting

"So h for me to step out of them

I didn’t care Not even a little And maybe even a tiny part of me wanted soother than where his hands were, how my skirt was over ainst my stomach

"Don’t care"

"You’re drunk Too drunk for this? I want you to remember it if I fk you"

"Sofrobetween us, I unbuttoned his jeans, pushed his boxers down just enough in front to free hi it across et this on"

His pants were open but slung over his hips Fro,But he pulsed in my pal to takethe crowd below In that croere people who knew me as Good Sara, Responsible Sara, Andy’s Sara

New hoer was heavy and so long in my hand I wanted hiht iot this hard

"You’re big," I blurted

He smiled, a wolf truly about to devour e with his teeth "That is the best thing you can say to a man You could even tell me you’re not sure I’ll fit"

I swept the tip across , and trembled frooing to come all over your fist if you don’t stop that" His hands shook a little with urgency as he pulled hirip to roll on the condoht there, poised against me, his smile aimed at my face "Do what? Sex with a beautiful woman on’t tell me her name and prefers me to fk her in a public hallway rather than in a proper place like a bed, or a liht burned in his eyes, and--holy crap--I didn’t think sex with strangers was supposed to be intimate like this He watched every reaction cross my face "No, Petal I ht, and then his words fell away because he was deep inside hts andall around us, where people walked past unaware only fifteen feet away And yet, my entire world reduced to the place where he filled ainst my cltwith every stroke, where the warhs

There wasn’t any rew faster, and harder The space between us filled instead with quiet sounds of praise and urging His teeth pressed into ht fall over the edge or even somewhere else, not onto a dance floor but into a world where I couldn’t get enough of being so exposed, having --especially thisdown, and sped up a little "I can’t stop looking at your perfect skin and--fuck--where I’ht was clearly on his side because to er I could see nothing when I looked down but dark shadows and the suggestion ofagainst me with every pass And, as if to ehts di beat filled the club

"I took video of you dancing," he whispered

It was a few, longof hi in me "Wh--what?"

"I don’t knohy I won’t show it round I just" He watched h presu possessed I wanted to reme before I asked, "Is it weird that I like that you did that?"

He laughed into ain with slow, deliberate strokes "Just enjoy it, right? I like to watch you You were perfor with it"

He liftedboth around his waist, and then, for the span of several perfect seconds in the darkness, he started to really runts and there would be no question as happening if someone happened upon our little corner of this balcony With that thought alone--where ere, ere doing, and the possibility that sohly--I was lost My head rolled back against the wall and I could feel it

feel it

feel it

building indowna little if anyone could hearh and then he ca hard into ht And then: I hope he bruises ht, and this Sara when I left, to better differentiate the new life I was so deter heavily against ainst er You’ve wrecked asm--and I wanted hiined hoe looked fro a wos around his hps visible in the darkness

His broad hand s from my ankle to my hip, and then with a small moan he pulled out, set me on my feet, stepped back, and unrolled the condo this insane My grin took over s shook almost to the point of collapse

Don’t freak out, Sara Don’t freak out

It was perfect Everything about this had been perfect, but it had to end right here Do it all differently No na my dress, I stretched on my toes to kiss his lips once "That was unbelievable"

He nodded, huoing to go downstairs" I began to back away and gave him a small wave