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That workday, my God You know the kind Seconds are actually oes by in the span of a decade By the end of it I’d thought about the evening so many times that I started to suspect I had made up Niall Stella in the first place and this entire situation was a figination

Finally, it was five thirty and the office started to thin out I slipped into the bathroom in the hall on my way out to check ue into a full-on panic

My silk top wasthis ? My sassy-short skirt suddenly seee-per-hour short I groaned and leaned in closer to the edbasically all over my face, and my blush had been rubbed off entirely

I did what I could to fix the mess, but the problem was that I was so nervous I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep down the water and crackers I’d barely oing to throw up? Should I carry an extra bag? Why had I waited so long to go see hiet a word out?

But then the oddest thing happened: I laughed I was freaking out over seeing Niall Stella I was checkingI would be

This was normal This hat I did

Without another look in the rabbed my purse and walked from the bathrooe, and there I was On the corner,a decision

That hen my heart decided to explode and my blood evaporated and I lost control ofI hadn’t seen hiive rateful and mad about that at the same tiht, than the unknown I could keep walking forward and head home to a quiet flat I could do cereal for dinner and Coet up and do the sa job until it was time to move, and then I could disappear fro to face this Soht, walk two blocks to his flat, sit on his stoop, and wait for him I could tell him I still wanted to try and then let hio home and do the cereal and the sitcom and the eventual painful heart repairs But if he said yes

There wasn’t a choice, not really

I stared at the sidewalk as I ray concrete Itto watch I counted the Number of Cracks Between Decision Corner and Niall’s Flat (twenty-four) and the Nu Hoain and again:

Hi I’m sure it’s really weird to find , but I wanted to see you I ht Lay it all out there and let hiot there, but rang his flat just in case When there was no answer, I stared blankly at the steps for a few breaths before sitting down, prepared to wait, repeating my opener

Hi I’m sure it’s really weird to find , but I wanted to see you I missed you I love you

The sun fell in the sky slowly, reluctantly Cars drove by, or parked, neighbors cli me with curiosity for the most brief and British amount of time The post-work-hours hts went on inside Dinner smells drifted onto the street And still, no Niall

Every tian to think that I should leave--ht, but what if he walks up a minute after I’ve left?

I expected him maybe a half hour after I arrived, but I sat for an hour, and then two, three, and finally I’d been sitting waiting for four hours without any sign of him when it occurred to ht was so sour, I actually groaned Restingout

I may have stayed like that for another half hour or even three more, I don’t really know But when I looked up, it was because of soe in the atmosphere The sound all around me dipped and then I could hear it: the faint click ofstrides of Niall Stella

The Number of Times I Have Listened for Niall Stella’s Footfalls: infinite

I turnedshape of him What happened inside me had to be described in a medical text somewhere under "lovesick": my heart evaporated and then returned as so that seemed to beat far too fast and with too much force It pulsed in my ears, rushed blood to warled I was dizzy, narrowing h blurred vision, and fairly sure I was going to be sick

He earing his navy suit--I could see in the distance, under the regularly intervaled light fro and confident and walking with his tradeht

Until he was about twenty feet away and sawon his steps