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I’ve been helpless before: trapped beneath a car, under the sharp command of an instructor, burned by my father’s heated disdain But never like this This kind of helpless is liberating; it’s what it feels like to have every nerve ending rise to the surface and drink in sensation It’s what it feels like to be touched by someone I trust with my body, trust with my heart

But I want to feel him inside me when I fall to pieces, and my release is too close to the surface I lift th as we both let out shuddering groans

We stay motionless for a few seconds, as my body adjusts to hiain, closingvoice--Justpleasefasterfaster Mia--breaks away and he slides his hands up the front of my body, to my neck His thumb strokes the delicate skin at the hollow ofain, but when Ansel drops one hand to ertips circling, his quiet, hoarse sex voice tellingin

"C’est ça, c’est ça" I don’t need hijust as he kneould

I don’t knohat sensation to focus on; it’s i intoinsideso perfectly until that tiny flash of pain where he pulls aover every part ofintoin equalso I’m spilled onto my hands and knees and we both moan at the new depth, and the new visual in theof him braced behind me His hands curl around ins to move He’s the portrait of bliss, the picture of relief Each muscle in his torso is flexed and beaded with sweat but he es to lookinto me

"Harder," I tell him, my voice thick and quiet with need

His eyes open and a dark shter into the flesh around , and then picks up a perfectly punishing rhythrunts with effort as he pushes deep, hittingI seem to lose the use of my ar rhythrunts

"Mia," he rasps, stilling behindas he co ainst hi of his heart

Ansel rollsback intoood?" he asks quietly

I nod

"You liketo hold on

Chapter EIGHTEEN

"SO WHAT TIME is this party?" I mumble into my pillow Ansel rests heavily on top of ainstthe side of et away, but this only encourages him "Mmpf You’re so heavy Do you have bricks in your pocket? Get off me"

"But you’re so warood Like woers findme relentlessly until he rollsabovereen and filled with a weight that tells et out of this bed "I’ll ether I pro a sound that’s so, and I know he’s telling hiood as this is, there will be time for more later After work

I pushhis shirt free from where it’s tucked into the waistband of his pants, as I unapologetically search for skin

"I can hear you thinking," I say, repeating the line he’s used onhow roans and lets his head fall to my neck "I can’t believe there was a time when I used to be up and practically out the door before my alarm even went off Now I don’t want to leave"

I push ainst his scalp He works to keep the ht off me, but I can feel him relax more every second

"Je ne veux pas partir," he repeats, voice a little rough now "Et je ne veux pas que tu partes"

And I don’t want you to leave

I blink up to the ceiling, wanting to commit every detail of this ht," he says, brighter now, pushing up onto his elbow and looking down at me "I can’t wait to tell everyone how I tricked you into proposing tome soon"