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The busiest part of the day has coether We sit side by side on the crowded train, and I watch our reflection in theopposite us Even in the gri fluorescent lights, it’s impossible to miss how beautiful he is It’s not an adjective I’ve ever used to describe a guy before, but as I look at hiles of his jaw, the prominence of his cheekbones offset by his soft, nearly feminine mouth, it’s the only one that see the top of his dress shirt to offer up a triangle of s neck, the teh to ht of collarbones as sexy before

As if sensingblur of track on the other side of the , and lass Our reflections rock with the move s at the corners of his mouth How is it possible to sit here like this in calo I had hiht for purchase on the faucet?

More passengers board at the next stop and Ansel s in each hand They share a feords in French I obviously don’t understand, and he takes the spot in front of rip the handrail suspended froives me an exceptional view of his torso and the front of his dress pants Yuroup of girls seated only a feay They’re probably in university, I think, and just a few years younger than h school but clearly still students They sit with their heads pressed together and if their hushed giggles and wide-eyed stares are any indication, I know exactly what they’re looking at Or, rather, who down at the oldercast in his direction

I don’t blame them, of course If I saw Ansel on a train I’et a better look, and now the night I saw hio It’s in these ratulate past-ht Ansel’s attention in the first place and--by some act of God or alcohol I still don’t understand--held it Sohs a deep,the man has said, and heaven help lance over like the jealous girlfriend--wife--I’ve becoirls is turned, eyes wide, h I’ve said absolutely nothing, I’ht I have is somehow projected onto a screen above lance down at er along my bottom lip Possessiveness sparks like a flare inwhen the train comes to a stop at our station He takeshis arm around my waist as soon as we’re on the platforhs "Are you only now realizing this?"

"No Wellyes I didn’t think about it before" What he told me about his boss and his job replays itself like an echo inside s in that way he does, easy and loose "I can work from home," he says "I went in before everyone else, and even leaving as early as I did, I still worked a full day It just wasn’t a fourteen-hour one They’re going to have to adjust"

But clearly they won’t have to adjust yet Ansel kisses me sweetly alk into the flat, and thenup his laptop As if on cue, his phone rings and he shrugs atit with a clipped "llo?"

I hear a deep male voice on the other end, and then, instead of his weary work expression, see a happy smile spread over my husband’s face "Hey, Olls," he says "Yeah, we’re home"

I wave, tell hirabbing ive them so way across it, spreading out like a starfish I can hear sounds fro up, and let the shabout e le word on the page

Partly it’s the way Ansel’s sers in my vision, or the way his voice sounded--so deep, relieved, relaxed--so different froh he’s never aard, and we just spent the ether, he’s still the tiniest bit formal with me, and I only see it noith the intimacy of a best friend on the other end of the line It’s exactly how I auarded, unfiltered

I listen to his voice through the door, wanting to absorb the velvet sh But then I hear hiood I hs quietly "I know you think that You’ll think that even e’ve been married for thirty years"