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He stopped at the table, towering over me and all we could do was stare at each other I drank in everything about hier, like ere kids, and he needed a shave His skin seemed paler than usual and he looked tired

I wanted to stand up, wrap my arms around him, and feel and smell him all around me Every muscle in my body ached with how much I missed him and I didn’t know if I should cry or curse or scream Until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I truly, deeply missed him

He was soout his hand "Long ti away, Jake shook Alex’s hand "Alex"

"Uh," Alex looked down at Sharon, "this is irl, Sharon Sharon, this is Jake"

She stretched out her hand with a congenial smile "Nice toher hand

"Jake" Claudia’s chair scraped back and she rounded the table She walked right into hiht

Jake cracked as he enveloped her, his eyes squeezing shut as they hugged

I blinked away tears

He was sad

I’d et off that easy

"Can we take a walk, Charley?" he asked loudly over theback up at hiive us space Jake’s expression was unreadable again

I nodded and got up, leaving with hi Alex and Claud a look of reassurance

We strolled outside into the war behind us I glanced back at The Brewhouse, part ofhere and the other part ofthis for Jake He’d needed support and they were right there with him

God, it was a wonder they didn’t all hateto him

Silence was thick between us as alked down the sidewalk, passing other college kids enjoying their last weekend of freedom before classes started The tension between us was palpable and the pull…

Jake walked beside iven me plenty of space, as if he was afraid to touch er to pull hi to keep the space between us

Five uy comes back after five months?

I hated myself

Jake exhaled loudly "First, how is everyone?"

Not surprised he led with that, I said, "Better, thank you"

He rubbed a hand over his head He did that whenever he was unsure or unco When Andie… I kept my distance not only because you asked, but because it was the right thing to do It wasn’t aboutht stir things up in Lanton, with my history with the town and I… you and your parents didn’t need that on top of everything else Soup to push the issues between us was about that--it wasn’t aboutup And you knew that You knew you could break up with me and not have to deal with the fallout and the questions because if I turned up, I was a selfish dick Yet, if I didn’t turn up, I was the dick who didn’t care enough to fight, so for you it was a in" He shotme so breathless with pain, I had to turn away "Forfivefor you to leave Lanton Now you have and now I’m here"

I felt sick It was ed anything, Jake"

He huffed, "See, maybe that’s the problem I don’t knohat the situation is now I don’t knohy you pushed me away I don’t knohy you broke up with ive o fro?"

I didn’t have any answers that wouldn’t make me sound like a crazy person Instead, I pulled on the attitude that had gotten ry with me, resent ry," he said "But I also love you, so the answer to that question is no"

I sucked inthe tears to fk off "I’ry at me too Okay? I haven’t been able to face you because I’ve been dealing with a lot of other stuff You’re just not a part of that equation anymore"

"That’s still not an answer And I can see how upset you are right now, so I’ to pull" Suddenly, I felt his hand wrap aroundif I let hiht of the hurt in his eyes guttedlike this You could just be honest and tell h your head"

"I’ve chosen the this conversation to be over "That’s what I said to you e broke up, and Imy family over you That’s all this is"

The muscle in his jaw flexed "Why does it have to be an either-or situation? We can work on bringing the"

"It’s not any all the conviction I could into mine "I hurt theed my relationship with theed unhappily, every part ofat aze from mine as he rubbed a hand over the scruff on his jaw I felt a little punch to htly

"Jake?"

A couple of kids pushed past us and Jake took that opportunity to turn his back on ht behind his head

I gave hi

Finally he turned back to er in his eyes was there for all to see but his words were careful, controlled "I thought if I came here and you had to face me, then you’d see what a colossalto happen, is it?"

"No…" I shrugged helplessly "I’rowing confused by the anger and pain in his eyes and the cal for us?"

I waited until an approaching couple had passed out of earshot before I said, "We’ve hurt each other Maybe we could get past that, but right now I have to work on myself and my relationship with my parents You and I are a lot, Jake You knoe are We’re dra the LSATs this year so I’ll be too busy--"

"You’re what?" he said, surprise written all over his face