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‘He doesn’t care He just wants to kill rily There was no stopping the tears now ‘You always ask that Why Like there’s an answer for everything

Not everybody has your life, you know, or your fas happen for reasons

People make sense But that’s not my life

Nobody in my life makes sense …’

‘Not even me?’ he asked

‘Ha Especially not you’

‘Why would you say that?’ He sounded hurt

What did he have to be hurt about?

‘Why, hy …’ she said

‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘ why Why are you always so mad at me?’

‘I’m never mad at you’ It came out a sob He was so stupid

‘You are,’ he said ‘You’re ht now You always turn on et somewhere’

‘Get where?’

‘Soo, you said you missed me And for maybe the first time ever, you didn’t sound sarcastic or defensive or like you think I’’

‘You’re mad,’ he said ‘Why are you mad?’

She didn’t want him to hear her cry She held her breath That made it worse

‘Eleanor …’ he said

Even worse

‘Stop saying that’

‘What can I say then? You can ask me why, you know I promise I’ll have answers’

He sounded frustrated with her, but not angry She could rery with her only once The first day she got on the bus

‘You can ask ain

‘Yeah?’ She sniffed

‘Yeah’

‘Okay’ She looked down at the turntable, at her own reflection in the tinted acrylic lid She looked like a fat-faced ghost She closed her eyes

‘Why do you even like me?’

Park

He opened his eyes

He sat up, stood up, started pacing around his small room He went to stand by the–

the one that faced her house, even though it was a block away and she wasn’t hoainst his sto he couldn’t even explain to himself

‘I don’t like you,’ he said ‘I need you’

He waited for her to cut hi’

But she was quiet

He crawled back onto the bed, not caring whether she heard it swish ‘You can ask me why I need you,’ he whispered He didn’t even have to whisper On the phone, in the dark, he just had to move his lips and breathe ‘But I don’t know I just know that I do …

‘I miss you, Eleanor I want to be with you all the tiirl I’ve everyou do surprises me And I wish I could say that those are the reasons I like you, because that would…

‘But I think it’s got assoft … and the fact that you smell like ho She didn’t

Someone knocked softly on his door

‘Just a second,’ he whispered into the phone

‘Yeah?’ he said

His h ‘Not too late,’ she said

‘Not too late,’ he said She smiled and shut the door

‘I’m back,’ he said ‘Are you there?’

‘I’’

‘I don’t knohat to say’

‘Say so, so that I don’t feel so stupid’

‘Don’t feel stupid, Park,’ she said

‘Nice’

They were both quiet

‘Ask me why I like you,’ she finally said

He felt hi warm had spilled in his chest

‘Eleanor,’ he said, just because he liked saying it, ‘why do you like me?’

‘I don’t like you’

He waited And waited …

Then he started to laugh ‘You’re kind of es , too He could picture her Sain ‘I …’

She stopped ‘I can’t do this’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s e’

‘So far, just for me’

‘I’m afraid I’ll say too much,’ she said

‘You can’t’

‘I’m afraid I’ll tell you the truth’

‘Eleanor …’

‘Park’

‘You don’t likethe base of the phone into his lowest rib

‘I don’t like you, Park,’ she said, sounding for a second like she actually meant it ‘I …’ –

her voice nearly disappeared – ‘sometimes I think I live for you’

He closed his eyes and arched his head back into his pillow

‘I don’t think I even breathe e’re not together,’ she whispered ‘Which , it’s been like sixty hours since I’ve taken a breath That’s probably why I’m so crabby, and why I snap at you All I do e’re apart is think about you, and all I do e’re together is panic Because every second feels so important And because I’m so out of control, I can’t help myself I’m not even mine anymore, I’m yours, and what if you decide that you don’t want me? How could you wantshe’d just said to be the last thing he heard He wanted to fall asleep with ‘I want you’ in his ears