Page 8 (1/2)

She climbed into bed and clenched her eyes and jaw and fists – held everything clenched until she could breathe without screa

Until this ht Richie couldn’t get to Co that happened here (It was a pretty aweso)

But now Richie was in there, just pissing all over everything Making everything she felt feel as rank and rotten as him

Now she couldn’t think about Park …

About the way he looked in the dark, dressed in white, like a superhero

About the way he smelled, like sweat and bar soap

About the way he s, with his lips just turned up at the corners …

Without feeling Richie leer

She kicked the cat out of the bed, just to be ht back up

‘Eleanor,’ Maisie whispered from the bottom bunk, ‘was that your boyfriend?’

Eleanor crushed her teeth together ‘No,’ she whispered back viciously ‘He’s just a boy’

CHAPTER 15

Eleanor

Her ot ready ‘Here,’ she whispered, taking the hairbrush and drawing Eleanor’s hair into a ponytail without brushing out the curl

‘Eleanor …’ she said

‘I knohy you’re in here,’ Eleanor said, pulling away ‘I don’t want to talk about it’

‘Just listen’

‘No I know He won’t come back, okay? I didn’t invite him, but I’ll tell hiood,’ her‘It’s just that you’re so young’

‘No,’ Eleanor said, ‘that’s not what it is But it doesn’t even matter He won’t come back, okay? It isn’t even like that anyway’

Her mom left the room Richie was still in the house Eleanor ran out the front door when she heard him turn on the bathrooht as she walked to the bus stop And thinking it made her want to cry, because she kneas true

And wanting to cry justto cry about so to be the fact that her life was couy didn’t like her like that

Especially when just being Park’s friend was prettythat had ever happened to her

She ot on the bus because Park didn’t say hi when she sat down

Eleanor looked into the aisle

After a few seconds, he reached over and pulled at the old silk scarf she’d tied around her wrist

‘I’ry God, she was a jerk

‘I don’t know,’ he said ‘I feel like ht …’

He pulled on the scarf again, so she looked at him She tried not to look mad – but she’d rather lookabout how beautiful his lips are

‘Was that your dad?’ he asked

She jerked her head back ‘ No No, that wasMy probleet in trouble?’

‘Sort of’ She really didn’t want to talk to Park about Richie She’d just about scraped all the Richie off the Park place in her head

‘I’ain

‘It’s okay,’ she said ‘It wasn’t your fault

Anyway, thanks for bringing Watchot to read it’

‘It was cool, huh?’

‘Oh, yeah Kind of brutal I mean that part with the Comedian …’

‘Yeah … sorry’

‘No, I didn’t mean that I ain twice last night You can take it tonight’

‘Yeah? Thanks’

He was still holding the end of her scarf, rubbing the silk idly between his thuers

She watched his hand

If he were to look up at her now, he’d know exactly how stupid she was She could feel her face go soft and gu

He didn’t look up He wound the scarf around his fingers until her hand was hanging in the space between theers into her open pal Eleanor’s hand was like holding a butterfly Or a heartbeat Like holding so complete, and completely alive

As soon as he touched her, he wondered how he’d gone this long without doing it He rubbed his thuers, and are of her every breath

Park had held hands with girls before Girls at Skateland A girl at the ninth-grade dance last year (They’d kissed while they waited for her dad to pick theether in the sixth grade

And always, before, it had been fine NotJosh’s hand when they were little kids crossing the street Or holding his grandma’s hand when she took him to church Maybe a little sweatier, a little irl last year, with his mouth dry and his eyeswrong with him

He’d even wondered – seriously, while he was kissing her, he’d wondered this – whether he uys either And if he thought about She-Hulk or Storot a lot better

Maybe I’ht at the time Maybe I’ht now, he just didn’t recognize all those other girls The way a conize the fornized her He knew

Eleanor

Disintegrated

Like so her onto the Starship Enterprise

If you’ve ever wondered what that feels like, it’s a lot like– but more violent

Even in a million different pieces, Eleanor could still feel Park holding her hand Could still feel his thu her palm She sat completely still because she didn’t have any other option She tried to remember what kind of animals paralyzed their prey before they ate theic, his Vulcan handhold, and noas going to eat her

That would be awesome

Park