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"Kadence" He ain and I’odda," I threaten My head is all over the place, et like this?
"What the hell, Kadence?"
"I can’t handle you being late," I shout, pointing to the broken bathroo hopeless, fears of failing, surface to the top as ht because of you not coh the door, halting whatever was about to go down between us
"Go," I whisper, afraid of what Z’s already heard Knowing our son waits on the other side of the door alone has Nix looking torn His eyes pleading with , bud," he calls out as I walk past hiive him another chance to try to talk to me; instead, I head back into the bathroom My safe place
"This conversation isn’t over We will talk about this, Kadence," he warns, but I don’t respond What is there to say? He left, came home, and found me at my worst It wasn’t the first time it’s happened
I hear the bedroom door open and then shut I let out an unsteady breath I didn’t knoas holding Peeling h my bedtime routine It’s not yet dinner time, but the reality of the day is tooho ahen the darkness starts to consume me helps
Confining ivescomfort I find solace in the silence If that doesn’t work, thenme I still have a voice when I release a s the sound of ivesfor Does it fix the issue that so with ive me the peacein the shower, locked away in the bathroo from my fa around me and be souilt for not being happy when I have everything to be happy for I’ out what clothes Low is going to wear Pretending is e to block it all out I know it isn’t healthy, but so my teeth, I climb into bed and bury o out, check on Low and Z, but now that Nix is home, I knoill have it under control With the day’s exhaustion catching up on me, I force my eyes shut, and pray I fall asleep before Nix coo over what happened today
"Kadence?" I hear whispered into my ear I open my eyes and find the room is shadowed in darkness as Nix’s bedside lamp illuminates his side of the room I must have fallen asleep
"Don’t touchI have allowed the last feeeks, hiht, I can’t even stand to have hiht, baby I don’t even want to talk Just let me hold you"
"Nix" I tense when he pullsto find sleep again
"Fuckin’ when then?" He pulls away, hitting the empty space of the bed beside hi further into my cocoon of bed covers
"Jesus, Kadence The only fuckin’ time I touch you is in my sleep Don’t fuckin’ take that froin’ on by a fuckin’ thread I miss you, baby I miss your hands, your s to push you away, Nix, but you need to give me more time" I keep my eyes closed Too afraid to turn and see what his eyes are telling me
"This is not just about you, Kadence There are two people in thisuntil we coive up "You’re unbelievable, do you know that? You don’t get sex for seven weeks and you’re threatening me with this bullshit? You want to fuck? Huh? You want to take me when it’s clear that I don’t want it? You wantpretend?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you, woman? You think this is about sex? You don’t talk to me You won’t letwith you When was the last tihed, or even sht back at me, and each jab makes me hate myself even more
"I’m just tired, Nix Last time I checked, I just had a baby A baby on’t eat, and who has ruinedbody Who screams for twenty-hours a day And you want to knohat the fuck is wrong with e forward as I screae, yet a sht to be worried It’s not just about Harlow and what is happening with her It’s about us andwith me