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My windpipe constricts and even if I could talk I wouldn’t knohat to say The back screen door in the kitchen opens and the creak fills the deafening void of silence

A clearing of a throat and I force et the other women and the occasional hand that lifts to wipe at tears as I meet the eyes of my cousin Chevy

He and I, we haven’t interacted much Haven’t said more than a "hi" or a "bye" He’s around Oz a lot and he also comes over daily to check on Olivia I never showed an interest in hiht I never fully engaged

"Hi, Chevy" My voice is raspy and rough, but I need to try

His eyes flicker between me and Olivia and he nods at me as if he senses all the chaotic words in my mind that I don’t have the ability to speak "Hey, Emily"

"How are you?" I say, and I hear hoard it sounds, but how else do I start?

Re s in Chevy’s ears "Good You?"

I’ well"

He clears his throat again "Soins" Chevy tosses his hand in the air to indicate a direction that I don’t quite comprehend "We’ll be on the other side of the yard" A yank at the neckline of his shirt "People our age Me, Oz, Razor, Stone, a few others Maybe Violet"

Oz, et to know ood"

"Eli said I have her for an hour" Olivia saves us both fro shelled and I have five h the kitchen He’s tall and broad-shouldered and e to let him pass There’s a kind spark in his dark eyes as he inclines his head toward the yard "I’ll finish cracking the eggs while you go get soh"

Pressure onChevy for rescuing me from this uncomfortable moment, but instead I s and the entire roo his into his mouth

I walk out the door and lift uessed that I could learn to like so many people--especially people who are so different from me?

Oz

EMILY SLIPS OUT the back door to the kitchen and I glance around Theup tables and chairs in the yard or ers Behind the house, there’s no one

Emily pauses when she sees me then flashes this soft smile I like that look on her I’d die a happy man if I saw that expression every day