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"There are in to coet her home, then you come back here You’re still a part of this club and that is a fucking order"

Ain with? Was it nothingfrom men who don’t respect me?

Eli releases me, and as I continue toward Breanna, I remember what she’s said about her family, about how happiness in nuht Maybe no matter how much faith we try to put into the idea of family, in the end, we’re fucked

RAZOR

I FLY INTO the open space near the clubhouse going double what I nor ina ged o and return to this nest of liars My fists are aching to punch sofrom the multiple hits I’ve taken

The party that was supposed to be for me is out of control, just like I auys call irl has the nerve to slip in front ofnext to nothing But I’ for no one

I’ as I enter the boardroooes silent when the door shuts behindwooden table, and they all look atCyrus, Eli, Pigpen andchair Eli sat in weeks before and it scrapes against the tiles The floor beneath me pulses with the beat of the turned-up bass from the music downstairs My steps fall in time with the rhyth across from me, but my father

We’re eye to eye His green ones peer into Mom’s blue ones There’re a e that belongs to a man, but there are times when I’m beforein e has been gained, but a piece of ht--I’ve never moved past Mom

"Did you love her?" I ask

Dad jolts as if the question shocks hiht," I continue "A lot So tellloved her"

Dad rests his arms on the table and leans towardelse in h hell, but ever question ain and I’ll lay you out"

I nod and on the outside I’m still as stone, but that ten-year-old boy on the inside collapses in tears Lots of tears Tears that I have never fucking shed

"I was on the phone with her while they chased her," he says "I listened to her as she was begging for et there fast enough and I listened as she told me that she loved me and you more than she loved her own life Did I love her? Yeah, I loved her and I had to listen helplessly as the woman I loved died"

I drop my head into my hands and wetness burns my eyes She loved me My mother loved me

"Your mother drew the Riot away," says Cyrus in a quiet voice that’s too sorrowful for the loud noises seeping in from below "When she came out of work, she found the code stuck under her windshield and she knew the Riot was near She didn’t knohat it meant, but she kneas bad She called your father, he told her to get to the clubhouse, but she refused to go there"

"Why?" My voice colance up,up to bad with the Riot It’s why your one doith the Riot years before was happening again and she was scared for ht for Emily’s safety Dim memories of hushed hospital rooms and the man I believed invincible in a bed Mo toto Cyrus’s hand like if I let go I would tu you and your mother refused to draw them anywhere near you, which meant she wouldn’t co s "Did she know about the code?"

"Yes and no," Dad answers "She saw a different piece of code once in s Your mom was quick Realized by my reaction when I saw it in her hands it was related to the Riot, but didn’t know much else This was that messed-up period after Eli was released froot out on parole and they wanted to renege on the deal made to keep peace between our clubs They deo fuck theh the code and short s"

"Why code?" I ask

"Law enforcement has always been after them," Eli explains "Made the Face-to-face s were risky for both sides--too uns We first used the code when they found out Meg was pregnant with E the code When the stakes between our clubs were being raised and they felt that law enforce, they stole a copy of our bylaws, sent the code to Meg, and she kne to decipher it That’s hoe’ve always communicated with them The code worked Kept our people safe while we tried to keep the Riot calm"