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"I’ll co at her "I’ll call daily I’ll still be around, just not as e of her seat as if being nearer to me will alter my view, but what she doesn’t understand is I’e herout around the house" My younger brother by just over a year I’m cushioned in the er-than- has served their sentence as being the one in charge Heading to private school would be the equivalent to handing in my teeks’ notice

"Joshua isn’t you," Mom says "He can’t handle the responsibility"

"So you’re saying I should screw up and then you’d let ument I meet your expectations and I have to stay houidance counselor interrupts "This is a fantastic opportunity for Breanna With her photographic ood raphic h there are people like me who can remember randole

"Of course" Mrs Reed s the conversations we’ve shared where she insists on calling raphic and I insist my memory isn’t quite that impressive Since my freshman year, she’s perfor

"Regardless, Breanna has a fantastic h Grove Academy can offer her opportunities we are not prepared or equipped to give her"

Exactly I sit taller with Mrs Reed’s well-thought-out, adult-validated argument, but Mom leans into her hand propped up by her elbow on the armrest and hides her eyes, while Dadhe remains quiet

Gray streaks I’ve never noticed have marred his dark hair and he rubs at the black circles under his eyes His typically fit frame seems smaller in his business suit Dad’s been under extrehto his burdens

I openin my power to pay for this myself"

"It’s not the ed ten years fro The coe contract, and if I don’t win over this next client, the whole town’s in trouble"

Because over half the toorks for the factory Theyon in a small, contained space, but it’s a process that requires a ton of people

"Your mom just received a proht they’d be Give us a few et our feet underneath us and then, yourwe can to help you with the college of your choice, but for right noe need you at home We need you here This family would be impossible to run without you"

He offers a weak upward lift of his lips and Moue will persuade et how each day that passes in this town allons of water

This should be one of those proudmy father and tell him how I’m overjoyed by his faith inin fast-forward on the vine

How do I refuse my parents? How do I explain that of our family of nine, I’m the one who’s never fit in?

"I understand" I hate it, but there’s nothing else to say "I understand"

RAZOR

THE WORLD ZONES out as if I’reen of the trees and sunlight surrounding me becomes too far away to reach In a ine and the stillness becoht

"I have a file," the detective says "In my car I’d like you to take a look at it"

I slip off my bike and wait for him a few inches from the bumper of his car There’s a voice in the back ofout warnings--tell him to talk to Dad, tell hih the hundreds of different protocols that have been shoved down my throat on how any of us should deal with someone who’s not a ht of my mother’s name muzzles the voice There’s silence in my head A crazy, fucked-up silence The type that can drive a guy insane

"Open it," he says Mo to er than the other ones and it moved Doubt I’ll find in this file, like I did with the box Moe in slow motion for the porch as my eyes take in the typed words and the handwritten notes With a flip of a page, I slump until my ass hits the top stair It’s a picture of ain on the picture--of her, of et this?" I ask It’s of Mo A real smile The type where her eyes crinkled I loved it when she smiled like that It meant her mood wasn’t fake