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"Because I couldn’t get out of it," I admit "And now I don’t want to let Chase down"

She shakes her head "He’s not the one for you, is he?" she asks

I shrug "I don’t know I’ve never given hi My ood like that She’s quiet when the situation calls for quiet, and she has a lot to say when the situation calls for that, too "Your dad shouldn’t have pushed this date"

I shake ht? What if Chase is the one for h

"The heart wants what the heart wants, Reagan," she says

I laugh, but there’s no humor in the sound "What does that mean, exactly?"

"I think you already knohat it e of ht?"

"About as o," I say flippantly But Pete’s more than that, and I know it

"Your heart has known hi time," she says

"My heart doesn’t work like everyone else’s heart," I bite out "I can’t trust it to leadhate thatthis to you It’s been over two years and you still don’t trust yourself to move on with your life It’s like you’re stuck in that moment when he hurt you"

"You don’t knohat it feels like, Mo She can’t talk about this She hasn’t experienced it

"Did you know that one in five college-age girls will be raped during her college career?" she asks "One in five, Reagan!" she cries

"And?" I say "Life goes on, is that what you’re saying?" I ask My life didn’t go on I got stuck in that s that scare an It’s thrilling and scary as hell and it makes your heart pound and it lares at s are normal What’s not normal is what happened to you and how you closed yourself off to protect your heart"

"Well, er," I say drolly

"So is his," she reminds me

Not once in all of this have I stopped to consider Pete’s feelings about our burgeoning relationship I’ve considered s I’ve considered my needs and wants But I haven’t really considered his What if he hasn’t kissed e him? What if he doesn’t want me the same way? What if he does want o crazy on hiood and kind," I say "That’s all I know about it"

She smiles "That’s a start"

My dad yells for an!" he calls "Chase is here!"

Moan," she says She kisses me on the forehead and walks down in front ofup at reen eyes aren’t the ones I want to see, but I need to try, right? I need to give this a shot

"Hi, Chase," I chirp

"Reagan," he says He’s all s?"

"Of course," I say with a smile "Sounds like fun"

I take his arm as alk out He opens the door of his obnoxious yellow car, and I slide inside His gaze roarins and closes the door Then he slides into the driver’s seat and peels out of the driveway, slinging rocks in our wake

Pete

I glance at an still isn’t home and it has been four hours That’s plenty of ti, isn’t it? Why isn’t she hoine, andwith soin to pace It’s dark outside, and the lights are on at the front of the house I can see the drive but not very clearly

"I’ll be right back," I say quietly The boys s," he says, grinning "You’re one pussy-whipped motherfucker, you know that?"

Yeah I know it And I don’t mind it I walk slowly toward the front of the house I stop by the bushes, hiding in the shadows The car stops, but it’s not the douchebag that gets out of the driver’s seat It’s Reagan Her hair is a led waves When she left, it was a chic knot on top of her head Her dress is hanging off her shoulder, and she reaches to adjust it before she goes in the house She stops to fix her hair, too She’s carrying her shoes in her fingertips by the straps

What the fuck?