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He nods "All a man has is his word That he says what he s atyou all holance up at Chelsea and at each of the kids around her--all of the Then I look back to Rory "But between then and now, you’ve got to hold it together I need you to be tough, okay? Take care of each other Don’t fight Help each other"

After a slow ives a small nod and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand He’s ready

• • •

We load the kids into the van Chelsea hugs and kisses each one before they clio Rosaleen’s face is red and ith big, strea tears "I want to stay here"

"I know, kiddo" I brush her cheek withat her tears as I buckle her in "It won’t be long It’ll go really fast," I lie

Regan’s lip quivers, though I’m not sure she understands why "No"

And I can’t force out any words to answer her All I can do is kiss her forehead

We step back as Janet closes the sliding van door It’s loud--echoing--like a jail cell locking Then she climbs in the driver’s seat

Chelsea waves, and she keeps talking, even after the kids can’t hear her anyuys I’ll see you really soon Everything’s gonna be all right Don’t worry I proht"

Her hand is still raised as the van pulls away, led by a police cruiser, down the curved driveway, through the gate, and out of sight

As soon as the blue van disappears, Chelsea’s face cruasp comes from her throat and she hides her face in her open palht here with her

And she screa as I live Pain so bare, so raw, that thoughts aren’t even possible--just an endless flow of agonized sobs

Her knees give out, and I catch her

She twists ainst et into the house Her shoulders shake as she cries her heart out "They were scared, Jake Oh god, they were so scared"

It’s horrible Every word lands like the lash of a whip, cuttinght to her room The kids are everywhere in this house--their toys, their faces s back fro I sit on the bed and cradle Chelsea inwords of reassurance that have no fuckingat all