Page 26 (1/2)

Badly

And when it happened, his face, , looked surprised--stark white with shockbecause there was suddenly a hole in his chest where his heart had just been

When Kennedy turns her back and slams the door in my face--I feel the exact same way

8

The present, in the pub

"I went to your roo She answered the door in your jersey--said you were in the shower She offered to let ether That I’d look really desperate just showing up at your room like that" Kennedy ss hard and breathes deep Like theher actual pain

"She never told me--"

"No, she wouldn’t have, would she?" Kennedy looks into ht I at least deserved to hear it froles at the end, her eyes shinier than they should be "But then Cashmere asked me what I had really expected She said you were a hero and I was a zero and nothing was going to change that Did I really think you would leave someone like her for someone likefro joy over e’d done But when she put it like thatI believed her So I left William stopped me in the quad on the way back to the dorm He asked me outand I said yes"

I can’t speak; I’ thes I didn’t do, all the things I never said

"I liked you," I whisper to the table Then I look at her "I liked you so much"

I still do Behind those contact lenses, under ner clothes, she’s still her I can still taste her, feel her on ertips, so smooth and slick Fearless in the way she wanted o

Her forehead crinkles with confusion "But you did get back together with Cashmere You didn’t speak to me that whole year until--"

Kennedy obviously still doesn’t understand jack shit about men Or boys--because back then, I was definitely a boy

"You toldand you were dating Williaot pissed about it, you told ether with Cashmere because you didn’t want me and she did She was a substitute I didn’t want to look like a loser And I didn’t speak to you because it was too fucking hard"

"We were friends--"

"Not to ht "Not after that night I didn’t want your friendship, Kennedy--I wanted you And if I couldn’t have you--I had to pretend you didn’t exist Because then I could tellI kneas"

But I’d still thought about her I’d dreaazes at the table, lost in her thoughts Then she looks up, wetting her lips--see

"So that’s why you did it," she says softly "You wanted to get back atin her tone puts me on alert, and I lean in closer "What exactly do you think I did?"