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I sit down at the round, cloth-covered table and Harrison removes the silver lid from my war to stand just behind hter’s first birthday celebration this Saturday, at the Potomac estate Mrs Mason’s exact words were: ‘I insist he attend, and I will personally come to retrieve him if he does not’ "

That’s my mother for you--Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy on the outside, Dirty Harry on the inside When a direct order comes down, you really don’t want to disobey--unless you’re feeling lucky, punk And punks are never lucky

Before I dig in, I look over my shoulder, "Would you like to join me, Harrison?"

It’s not the first time I’ve asked recently, but his answer is always the sareatly appreciated, but if I accept, my father may disown me And I’m rather fond of my father"

I nod "Go enjoy your own dinner, then I won’t be needing anything further"

With the slightest bow, he goes inside

After a few minutes and a few bites, the quiet settles in--not even the crickets are out tonight I don’t like silence any o out a lot after work Dinner, drinks, soether, kids to drive around, and wedding plans toout with--acquaintances, old school buddies, woet my call But those options just don’t see--itchy--like a heavy wool blanket

So I stand up, grab my plate, and head inside Because as awesome as my backyard is--dinner in front of the TV seems even better

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On Saturday, I have Harrison drop me at my parents’ estate about an hour after the party starts He has soo--with strict instructions to pick me up in exactly three hours

It’s not that I don’t like reat But only in small doses If I spend too much tih the immense marble foyer I pass the music room, the front parlor, the conservatory, the library where a portrait hangs of me at five years old, dressed in blue overalls and a cap--looking like the pansy-ass kid in the Dutch Boy paint advertisements but with dark hair I’ve offered my mother the firstborn child I’ll probably never have to take it down--but she won’t budge If Stanton, Jake, or Sofia ever lay eyes on it, I’y co from the kitchen that you can feel ne and caviar and carrying buckets of ice to keep the lobster and oyster table fresh

Outside, there are tents and tables, a band, and a fully stocked bar with two bartenders What there isn’t are streah this is supposed to be a kids’ party Because in reality, this kind of party is for the two hundred adultscheeks, and stabbing backs

Yes, I said two hundred--just friends and faht My est of twelve And both sides are in excellent health--they all live for fucking ever Which reat nieces and nephews, and cousins galore--and the gang’s all here