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Regardless of how big e fat head Also, I would not touch him with any body part that is not spiked and or doused in blackto my school, I have to devise ways in which to rid myself of him sans homicide Maybe, like, a fortuitous black hole

But first, I have to throw a tantrureat experience

"Do I even wanna knohat you’re doing?" Yvette looks down as I attachthe second she walks in the roo the tie in the first year’ plan"

"Oh, stop," Yvette throws her laptop bag on her bed She drags her feet to her desk "While you’re down there, untie usto "I recently discovered sooes here"

"That dude you were talking with the other night? Model McFartington?"

"Have I called hi I would say"

"You say it a lot In your sleep"

"Yvette!" I wail "It’s not Model McFartington There is another person on ton is on the shitlist, also, but he is not nuly lines through his name, because sometimes I take him off the list and sometimes I add him back on"

Yvette raises one studded eyebrow

"It’s complicated," I summarize "Let’s drop out"

"No," she says siotta experience the whole nine yards of college agony before we drop out We have to black out drink a bunch and swear off men forever and fail a bunch of classes and try cocaine That’s at least seven ht there"

"Says who"

"Says every poignant coo of her foot and roll under my bed I see a moldy dick carved into the wood h"

"Look, I’m sorry about this dude, okay? Or…two dudes, or whatever you have going on Point them out to me and I’ll sock theht now, I gotta finish this Cheotten screwed in a while"

These are her faet dinner and come back full of burrito and knock for her to letfro ‘harder’ I trip over a dust particle with alarrace as I make my way to calmer waters Jack opens his door with sleep-mussed hair and no shirt and it’s then I realize these waters are about as cal gross so I live here now," I say as I push past him

"You can’t," he points out

"They said that to Columbus too, and look what happened there" I flop on his bed I know it’s his because it’s perfectly made, covers just a little wrinkly from sleep His roommate’s bed is a mercifully empty nest ofbeside ers," I point at his eyes He rubs theorously

"You can stay here if you want," He says, still rubbing one eye It is a drastically human, vulnerablein fifteen h "With eye problerowls, and rubs harder His cheeks are sleep-flushed and his hair sticks up every which way

"Still got a duck’s butt for a hairstyle, huh?"

"Still got the most infantile insults for a defense mechanism, huh?"

"At least it is not an animal’s backside"