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CHAPTER 8

GRACE

Dinner at home is tense I don’t really expect it to be any other way, not with Moht and Thane still … elsewhere I can’t re this aard around my parents Ever

When dinner is over, I clear the table and take care of the dishes Alone and in silence It’s like their disappoint the damp dish towel on the oven door handle when I’m done I can’t just let it be like this--the distance and tension are too much I walk quietly to their bedroo at the s to an office this apart ready for bed In all my years, I’ve never felt like such an outsider in my own home

Dad doesn’t look up, and my heart breaks a littleas I can shove into three small words "I’m really, really sorry"

His attention stays focused on the computer screen and I feel tears start to well into respond

Then I see his shoulders rise and fall in a sh

"I know," he says When he turns to look attoo "I know you are, Gracie"

I rush over to hi Then I feel Mom’s arms wrap around us

"We were so scared," she says "Terrified that soht have--"

She can’t finish She doesn’t have to

Asterrible happened, that nothing terrible will happen, I can’t lie again Last night ful and dangerous and seconds away froht be just as bad Or the next night, or the night after that My life is suddenly erous than their worst fears I can’twill be fine, because I can’t control the outco for ht in the ht overwhelht now

"I’m fine," I say "I promise you, I’m fine"

For now

"Make us one o anywhere without your phone again"

Mom nods "It would have saved a lot of worry"

"I proh I know that if I’d had otten blown up in the loft or drenched in the bay

But I’ll never leave hoain

I tell theht back--before retreating to h my door