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By un to strain at the straps All color had drained from her skin; her eyes, behind her lids, were rosy with burst capillaries

"Give her ," Sara said She orn down, threadbare; they all were "It could kill her"

"Do it"

They gave her the rest of the vial Outside it had begun to snow again Greer and Hollis left to scout the woods and returned an hour later, half frozen It was really co down, they said

Hollis pulled Peter aside "Food’s going to be a problem," he said quietly They had taken an inventory of Lacey’s cupboard; most of the jars were s I know the boround, but there could be radiation Michael says that at the very least it’s in the water table He doesn’t think we should stay here er There’s some kind of structure on the other side of the valley It looks like there’s a ridge we can use to cut to the east"

"What about Lish? We can’t et stuck here Then we’re in real trouble We don’t want to try it half-starving in a blizzard"

Hollis was right, and Peter knew it "You want to scout it out?"

"When the snow lets up"

Peter offered a concessionary nod "Take Michael with you"

"I was thinking of Greer"

"He should stay here," said Peter

Hollis was silent a ht," he said

The squall blew through with the night; by athered their gear to go If all ell, Hollis said, they’d be back before nightfall But it could be as long as a day In the snowy yard, Sara hugged Hollis, then Michael Greer and Amy were inside with Alicia In the last twenty-four hours, since they’d given her the second dose of the virus, her condition seemed to have reached a kind of stasis But her fever was still high, and her eyes had gotten worse

"Just don’tlet it go too long," Hollis told Peter "She wouldn’t want you to"

They waited A her bedside It was clear to all as occurring The un to strain at the straps again

"She’s fighting it," A"

Darkness fell, with no sign of Michael and Hollis Peter had never felt so helpless Why wasn’t it working, as it had with Lacey? But he wasn’t a doctor; they were only guessing about what to do The second dose could be killing her, for all he knew Peter are of Greer watching hi

It was just past dahen Sara shook him awake Peter had fallen asleep in a chair, his head rocked forward onto his chest

"I thinkit’s happening," she said

Alicia was breathing very rapidly Her whole body was taut, thebeneath the surface of her skin A low, effortful moan issued from the back of her throat For a ain

"Peter"

He turned to see Greer, standing in the doorway He was holding a blade

"It’s ti his body between Greer and the bed where Alicia lay "No"

"I know it’s hard, but she’s a soldier A soldier of the Expeditionary It’s time for her to take the trip"

"I meant no, it’s not your job" He held out his hand "GivePeter’s face with his eyes "You don’t have to do this"

"Yes, I do" He felt no fear, only resignation "I gave her my word, you see I’m the only one who can"

Reluctantly, Greer surrendered the knife A familiar heft and balance: Peter saw that it was his own, the one he’d left at the gate with Eustace

"I’d like to be alone with her, if that’s all right"

They said their goodbyes Peter heard the door to the house open and close again He went to theand yanked one of the boards free, dousing the roo Alicia ht Peter didn’t think he had more than a couple of minutes He remembered what Muncey had said at the end, how quickly it co out of hie of the bed, the blade in his hand He wanted to say so for what he felt He sat for a quiet s they’d done and said, and what still lay unspoken between them It was all he could think to do

He could have stayed that way a day, a year, a hundred years But he could wait no longer, he knew He rose and positioned hi the blade with both hands, he placed its tip at the base of her breastbone The sweet spot He felt his life dividing into halves: that which had coainst hiainst the restraints His hands were tre, his vision blurry with tears

"I’m sorry, Lish," he said, and closed his eyes as he lifted the blade, gathering all his strength inside hi it down

Chapter SEVENTY

It was spring and the baby was co contractions for days She would be cleaning in the kitchen, or lying in bed, or watching Theo work in the yard, when suddenly she felt it: a quick tightening across her midriff that made her breath catch in her chest Is this it? Theo would ask her Is he co now? For a moment she would look away, her head cocked to the side, as if listening for some distant sound Then she would return her attention to hi Just the one It’s all right Go back to what you were doing, Theo

But noasn’t nothing It was the , a siolden field, when he heard Maus’s voice, calling his name She was in the drea froame She was ahead of him, then behind, he didn’t knohere she was Theo Conroy was yipping and barking, bounding through the grass, racing away fro him to follow Where are you, Theo called, where are you? I’ I’m wet all over Wake up, Theo I thinkup, fu to put his boots on Conroy was up too, wagging his tail, shoving his daht the lantern Is itout?

Mausah her teeth "Ooo" She arched her back off the sagging s she’d need Sheets and towels to put under her, for the blood and all the rest A knife and fishing line for the cord Water, to clean the baby, and a blanket to wrap hiht back"

"Flyers," she h her She reached for his hand and squeezed it tight, digging her nails into his pal her teeth in pain "Oh, fk" Then she turned and wretched onto the floor