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"What is it?" Doyle said quietly "What’s wrong?"
Wolgast shook his head He passed the fax to Doyle
"Sweet Jesus, Phil It’s a civilian"
Chapter FOUR
Sister Lacey Antoinette Kudoto didn’t knohat God wanted But she kneanted so as she could remember, the world had spoken to her like this, in whispers andin the ocean wind above the village where she was raised; in the sound of cool water running over rocks in the stream behind her house; even in the busy sounds ines and machines and voices of the huirl, not aret, who ran the convent school in Port Loko, what she was hearing, and Sister laughed Lacey Antoinette, she said How you surpriseher face close to Lacey’s That’s nothing less than the voice of God
But she did know; she understood, as soon as Sister said it, that she’d always known She never told anyone else about the voice, the way Sister had spoken to her, as if it was so only the two of them knew, told her that what she heard in the wind and leaves, in the very thread of existence itself, was a private thing between them There were ti receded and the world becas She believed that this was how the world felt to most people, even those closest to her, her parents and sisters and friends at school; they lived their whole lives in a prison of drab silence, a world without a voice Knowing thisfor days at a time, and her parents would take her to the doctor, a French sideburns who sucked on candies that smelled like camphor, who poked and peeked and touched her up and doith the ice-cold disk of his stethoscope but never found anything wrong How terrible, she thought, how terrible to live like this, all alone forever But then one day she’d be walking to school through the cocoa fields, or eating dinner with her sisters, or doing nothing at all, just looking at a stone on the ground or lying awake in bed, and she’d hear it again: the voice that wasn’t a voice exactly, that came from inside her and also from everywhere around, a hushed whisper that seeh as gently as a breeze on water By the tihteen and entered the Sisters, she knehat it was, that it was calling her name
Lacey, the world said to her Lacey Listen
She heard it now, all these years later and an ocean away, sitting in the kitchen of the Convent of the Sisters of Mercy in Memphis, Tennessee
She’d found the note in the girl’s backpack not long after herabout the circuirl, she realized what it was: the woirl was obviously her daughter-the sa lashes that curled upward at the ends, as if lifted by a tiny breeze She was pretty, but her hair needed co’s-and she had kept her jacket on the table, as if she were used to leaving places in a hurry She seemed healthy, if a little thin Her pants were too short and stiff with dirt When the little girl had finished her snack, every bite, Lacey took the chair beside her She asked her if she had anything in the bag she wanted to play with, or a book they could read together, but the little girl, who hadn’t spoken a word, just nodded and passed it fro, pink with soe black eyes reirl’s-and re her daughter to school
She unzipped the bag and inside found the stuffed rabbit, and the pairs of rolled-up underpants and socks and a toothbrush in a case, and a box of strawberry cereal bars, half e, but then she noticed the little zippered pouch on the outside It was too late for school, Lacey realized; the girl had no lunch, no books She held her breath and unzipped the pouch There she found the piece of notebook paper, folded up
I’m sorry Her name is A tih in theirWhat she looked at was the space around the words, a whole page of nothing at all Three tiny sentences were all this girl had in the world to explain who she was, just three sentences and the few little things in the bag It was nearly the saddest thing Lacey Antoinette Kudoto had ever seen in her life, so sad she couldn’t even cry
There was no point in going after the woone by now And ould Lacey do if she found her? What could she say? I think you forgot so I think you’ve made some mistake But there was no mistake The woman, Lacey understood, had done exactly what she’d set out to do
She folded the note and put it in the deep pocket of her skirt "Aaret had done all those years ago in the yard at the school in Port Loko, she positioned her face close to the girl’s She smiled "Is that your nairl looked around the room, quickly, alht a irl’s father? "Of course," she said "Who is Peter, Airl stated
Lacey was relieved-the girl’s first request of her was so simple that she could easily provide She re It was velveteen plush, worn smooth in shiny patches, a little boy rabbit with beady black eyes and ears stiffened by wire Lacey passed it to Aain, "where did your o?"
"I don’t know," she said
"How about Peter?" Lacey asked "Does Peter know? Could Peter tell ," Airl frowned sharply "I want to go back to the motel"
"Tell me," Lacey said "Where is the motel, Amy?"
"I’irl nodded, her eyes fixed on the surface of the table A secret so deep she couldn’t even say it was a secret, Lacey thought
"I can’t take you there if I don’t knohere it is, Ao to the ging at her sleeve